Strange Is What We Aim For
by LetoLover71
Summary: A twisted love story between a young woman and the Joker.  What happens when Marissa tries to escape an obsessive Joker?  Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, here goes my first ever fanfic. Let me know if you guys think I should keep going or trash it._

I woke up in the dark room Jack and I shared. The walls were painted a dark, deep purple, just the way he liked it. There was a gothic canopy bed against the center of the back wall and a small door to the left of the bed led to a bathroom. While it may sound like a normal room, this room belonged to the Joker, and was anything but comfy and cozy.

Knives lay on the bedside tables. The closet was full of disguises and the Joker's odd and eerie apparel. The shelves in the bathroom were stocked with war paint instead of my feminine make-up. But, however unpleasant this may seem to you, this was my life, as it had been for five months. Five horrible, terrifying, yet wonderful months. Okay, so things didn't start out so smooth, but they ended up in a good place. So I couldn't leave the hideout…ever. Or talk to anyone other than the Joker's goons. But I got to be with him and that's all that mattered.

I rolled over to find myself alone in the bed under the forest green covers. I was used to this. Jack (or "The Joker" as he liked to be called) was extremely moody the last few weeks. He would come home angry and vicious and beat his henchmen for no reason at all. While this frightened me, Jack had promised me he would never hurt me. He loved me.

I got out of bed and dressed in black skinny jeans and a red, low-cut, t-shirt. I went downstairs to eat breakfast like I would any other day. Except this wasn't any other day. This was the day we came to the long road downhill that lasted years into my life. It was only a small event, but it would change my life, as well as everyone that I became to in the future.

I entered the kitchen only to stop dead in my tracks, horrified. Jack had a girl pinned to the kitchen table. He had one hand around her throat and the other held a giant steak knife. He was repeatedly stabbing the girl with strength I didn't know was possible to obtain. The table wasn't visible under the blood that covered it and dripped off the side. I didn't speak, but rather just stood and watched the man I loved butcher an innocent girl. He looked up and saw me.

"Marissa, go back to our room," Jack said to me in a growl.

"Jack, wha-," I started to say before he cut me off.

"Marissa, NOW!" he screamed, as he slammed his fists down on the table, making the whole room seem to shake.

I turned and ran back to the bedroom and slammed the door behind me. I knew that Jack was a killer and I hated it, but I couldn't help the fact that I loved him. He had been Prince Charming the last few months. Well, a strange sort of Prince Charming, but I liked that. But I had just seen him mutilate a girl of twelve years of age, at most. He couldn't have gained anything from that. I leaned against one of the posts on the bed, took my face in my hands and tried to make it all go away.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, here is chapter two. By the way, I do not own the Joker or any other Batman characters. _

The door flew open. Jack stormed in, in full Joker getup. He really was a scary looking guy. Ironically I had a major fear of clowns, but for some reason, Jack never scared me until this moment. I sucked in a breath as he grabbed my upper arms so tightly it hurt. "What the hell were you doing in there, huh? You know better than to interrupt me when I'm working, Em. Look at me. LOOK AT ME!" Jack screamed in my face. My eyes shot to his as I spoke.

"I didn't know you were here, I just left the bedroom, I didn't hear you in there, you know I wouldn't have walked in if I did," I forced the words out in a rush. We stared at each other for a long time. Neither of us spoke.

Finally, he said "I don't wanna hear a word about what you, uh, saw in there okay? I can do whatever I want. _I _make the rules. _You are mine._ You understand? And you're gonna respect my decisions on who I kill and who I do not kill. Got it?" He shook me slightly and spoke in a low, deep voice. I nodded meekly. "That's my girl," Jack said. He leaned down to kiss me gently. He pulled away and studied my face, then continued to kiss me more fiercely. The next thing I knew, he was pushing me onto the bed and taking my clothes off. That's how it had been those last few days. One minute he was raving mad, the next he was making passionate love to me. As I said before, this was one small event, but it lead to our huge downfall.

_I promise these chapter are going to get longer. I'm just setting up the story right now, but this story will get some substance to it! The next chapter is already much longer than the first two._


	3. Chapter 3

_Longest chapter yet! Woohoo!_

It was three days after I had seen Jack murder the young girl on our kitchen table. Jack had left right after we had sex and he hadn't come home yet. I was standing at the counter, still in my pajamas, eating a bowl of cheerios. I refused to sit at the table. It was early, only about 8:00, when I felt a pair of arms circle my waist. I jumped as Jack nuzzled his face into my neck. "Good morning, beauty-full," he said happily.

"Hi, you scared me. I missed you," I said sincerely. Despite the awkward circumstances, we _were_ together.

"I missed you too," Jack said and nipped my jaw. I giggled and turned around to face him. Ah, this was the way I liked it. He had no make-up on and I could see just the man I loved, not the mass murderer that terrorized Gotham. He was actually quite handsome, something most people would find hard to believe. And his eyes. He had these green eyes that were so dark they looked almost black.

I linked my hands behind his neck. "So did you do anything interesting while you were gone?" I asked sweetly, not wanting to anger him with a possibly touchy subject. Apparently things had gone his way the past few days because he gave one of his famous Joker laughs.

"As a matter of fact, I played with the _bat man_. I crashed Dent's party and threw a girl off the roof. I think he saved her, or whatever, but I am just getting started on breaking him," he said excitedly. I forced what I hoped was a convincing smile. Obviously near death experiences were not my cup of tea. Jack was getting more and more violent in his plots for chaos. Usually a few mobsters were taken out, but they were just as bad as him, so what did it really matter? This newfound killing of innocent bystanders was not sitting well with me. I didn't want to ruin the moment though, so I decided not to tell him that yet.

"Well, I'm glad you're happy sweetie," I said standing on tiptoe so I could kiss him. Jack tightened his arms around me and kissed me back hard.

"I love you, Em," he said when we parted. Whoa! A _really_ good mood was necessary to make him say that. As I said, Jack and I had been together for five months and I had only heard him say that maybe twice until now.

"I love you too," I replied feeling lightheaded as my limbs turned to jelly. Jack kissed me again, but much more forcefully, pushing his tongue into my mouth. Jack bent down, our lips still locked, and slid his hands behind my thighs. He picked me up so I was straddling him.

Just then one of Jack's henchmen came into the room. "Boss? Oh!" He said, startled at our position.

"Get out, I'm busy!" Jack mumbled, never breaking the kiss.

"Say no more!" the goon said, backing out of the room. We broke for air and Jack started kissing my neck.

"Hey don't get rid of that guy. I like him," I said breathlessly.

"Don't think about him, think about me," Jack said against my neck. He carried me back to our bedroom where we repeated the events that had happened before he left three days ago.

When we were finished, I lay curled up against his left side. His arm was around my shoulders and he was running his fingers through my hair. We didn't say anything. We didn't have to. I knew he loved me and he knew I loved him. It was a strange predicament, but we were happy. At least we were for the moment.

_Okay, so I know the Joker is a little out of character right now. But don't worry, his dark side will come out very soon! And this story does have a plotline that will really start in like a chapter or two._


	4. Chapter 4

I was sitting on the floor in our living room playing Call of Duty with Drake, the henchman that walked in on me and Jack almost a week ago. I was kicking ass and Drake was being very whiney about it.

"Oh, come on. That's not fair, you psyched me out!" Drake yelled. He struck out a foot and playfully kicked my leg.

"Ow! You got killed fair and square. It's not my fault you suck at this," I said laughing. We hadn't been playing long and I had already killed him multiple times. It was then that Jack came into the room.

"Hey boss," Drake said just as I said "Hey babe." We didn't even look away from the screen, too intent on blowing each other's brains out.

Jack came in and sat on the couch behind me. I was just about to make another attack on Drake when I felt a gloved finger lightly skim my neck, which was visible because of the neat pony tail I had. My shoulders shrugged and my head tilted back involuntarily. That was a major pressure point for me and Jack knew it.

"Ohhh my God, stop it. You're distracting me," I said giggling. Jack, of course, did no such thing. He continued to tickle the back of my neck, causing me to be an easy target for Drake.

"Finally! I got you!" he yelled triumphantly.

"Drake, get outta here," Jack said.

"You got it Boss," Drake said and hurried to stand up.

"Bye Drake!" I called after him. He turned and gave me a smile. I looked to my right to see Jack pulling off his gloves and taking the spot next to me on the floor. He picked up the controller and started a new game.

"Oh no, I am so going down," I said, knowing that I was now going to take on a man who was skilled in the art of killing.

"Yes you are," Jack said. We started playing and I was actually doing better than I thought I would.

"Ugh! You suck! Drake was right, you do cheat!" Jack yelled as I attacked with a machine gun.

"I am not cheating! I'm just awesome!" I retorted. I finished killing Jack's final player and realized I had won the whole game. "Oh yeah! I just destroyed you, man!"

"Fine, but I'd beat you in a real fight," Jack said, sounding like a two year old.

"Oh really? I'd like to see you try. I'm a lot more vicious than my little body leads on," I said. The next thing I knew, Jack was lunging at me, arms wrapped around my body, pinning me to the floor. I was not expecting this. I wriggled around underneath him, but to no avail. He was much bigger than me and we both knew who would really win in a fight.

"Jaaack! Let me go! You win, okay? You win!" I wailed in mock protest. He got up and pulled me up with him. I slid my arms around his waist. "My big, strong man," I said teasingly. He giggled and pecked a kiss on my forehead.

* * *

Later that night I was getting into bed. I had spent the whole night just goofing around with Jack. I honestly can't remember having so much fun with someone without really even doing anything. That's what I loved about us. We made the most boring situations exciting.

As soon as I lay down Jack came out of the bathroom, Joker make-up gone. He crawled in the bed next to me and cuddled up behind me. I closed my eyes and sighed peacefully.

"Mmmm, you're mine forever. You know that right?" Jack whispered into my ear. My eyes shot open. My initial reaction was that I was turned on and I thought his possessiveness was sexy. Then I thought about how serious he might be.

"Of course," I answered. "I want to be with you forever."

Jack slid his arm around my waist tightly, almost painfully. "You will be," he said. I felt him shift next to me as he got more comfortable. Sleep was the furthest thing from my mind. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't make my eyes stay closed. My mind kept running a hundred miles a minute. Finally, I convinced myself that I was overanalyzing the short conversation and I drifted off to sleep in Jack's strong embrace.

_Okay, next chapter is when things really get rolling. It's got a lot of the dark side of the Joker. Hope you all like it!_


	5. Chapter 5

I was running. Running faster than I'd ever run in my life. I could see the door to the hideout at the end of the alley. There were gunshots ringing behind me. With all the strength in my body I sprinted straight into the door and fell into the warehouse. I scrambled up off the floor and slammed the door shut. I backed away slowly, staring at the door the whole time. Part of me was begging for Jack to come through that door so that I would know he was okay. The other part was terrified of what he'd do to me when he did get back to the hideout.

My worrying was soon put to an end as the door slammed open just as hard as I had closed it. Jack stormed into the room, followed by six of his goons. He made his way directly to me and grabbed my throat. "What the fuck were you thinking, you stupid bitch," Jack said in a voice so deep I didn't recognize it. "Go back to the bedroom. I'll deal with you in a minute."

I hurried back to the room. My breathing was heavy and I was so dizzy I couldn't function.

I had snuck out. I needed to make an emergency purchase at a store about ten blocks away. Jack and his crew had apparently been doing a major showdown at some Gotham Police officer's funeral in the city. He had spotted me amidst all the chaos and had screamed at me to get back to the hideout. I knew he was just worried about me, but he was scaring the shit out of me.

I hid what I had bought at the back of the cupboard in the bathroom. I waited in the bedroom for about ten minutes. Then the door swung open so hard I thought for sure it would fly off its hinges. I shrank back against the bedpost. Jack crossed the room in just two steps and before I could speak I felt his hand strike the left side of my face. I grabbed the bedpost to keep myself upright as the force of his blow knocked me off balance. My face stung and I froze where I was standing. If I thought it was over I was wrong.

"What the hell were you doing! You know you're not supposed to leave this warehouse _ever_! Huh? I gave you a direct order and _you _had the nerve to disobey me?" Jack screamed as he grabbed my chin and shook me with unbelievable force. Then he slammed my head back in to the bedpost, making the world seem to spin. "So tell me, what was so important that you had to go out? Hmm? What was so fucking urgent that you had to break the one rule I gave you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I looked into the eyes of the man I loved, the man I worshipped and saw only a monster staring back at me. I couldn't possibly tell him what I'd been doing. As I stood there trying to come up with a lie, he smacked me across the face again.

"ANSWER ME!" Jack screamed.

"I, I just needed to pick something up. I was only out for, like, fifteen minutes. I-," I stuttered out as fast as I could. But Jack didn't really want to hear me. He shoved me to the floor before I could finish. His feet pounded into my legs and stomach. I heard a sickening crack as his foot collided with my ribcage. I held my arms across my stomach protectively, trying to keep his powerful kicks away from me. "Jack no! Please, Jack, you promised me!" I begged while I lay on the floor taking his beating. He knelt down next to me, grabbed a fistful of my hair and dragged my face up inches from his.

"Yeah, well you promised me. I guess we're both liars," Jack said. His hands flew to my throat and squeezed tightly. I couldn't breathe. I felt consciousness slipping away from me as my air supply was cut off. My small hands clung to his large ones, trying desperately to pry them away from me. Finally, he let go. I sucked in air greedily, attempting to replace all that was lost. My relief was soon over, however, when I heard the flick of a knife opening.

Jack was back on me in seconds. He slid the knife in my mouth against one of my cheeks. "Don't fuck with me again, Marissa. Or I might just carve up that pretty little face of yours," he said in that same unnaturally deep voice. He got up and stalked out of the room, leaving me bloody and bruised on the floor.

I slowly, painfully got up off the floor and made my way to the bathroom. I held onto the countertop for support and looked at the huge bruises that covered both sides of my face. Then I lifted my shirt, which I was barely able to do, due to the intense pain that shot through my body. I literally gasped at the black and bloody flesh that was now my skin. My entire body was dark with bruises. I couldn't even cry. I knew Drake would be able to fix me up, but the thought didn't comfort me. I was numb. I couldn't believe what Jack had done to me. But that's when I realized it. This Batman person had driven him over the edge. He was no longer my Jack anymore. He was the Joker, without an ounce of humanity left in him. I opened the cabinet to retrieve what I had just gotten abused for. I opened the box and pulled out a pregnancy test.

_Yay, we have officially started a plotline! Is Marissa pregnant? If she is, how will she tell the Joker? Please leave me reviews and tell me what you think of the story so far._


	6. Chapter 6

I might not have mentioned that I was only sixteen when this whole ordeal started. The Joker kidnapped me five months ago, in August of 2009. I was at a party for one of my friends in a hotel downtown. The Joker just happened to choose that specific day to confront a bunch of mobsters in the basement of the hotel about Batman. Long story short, it was one of those wrong place, wrong time situations. I ended up crossing paths with him while I was leaving the hotel out the back way. I don't know why he chose to take me with him but he did. Within a two months we developed feelings for each other and that's how I got myself into this whole mess.

So there I was, sixteen years old, living with my twenty-six year old abusive lover, in a warehouse full of trained murderers and just discovering that I'm pregnant. And yes, I was still in fact pregnant. Drake had no choice but to take me to the hospital after he saw what a wreck I was. Luckily, the Joker had left and it didn't look like he would be back soon, so we didn't have to sneak around. We told the doctors that I had been beaten up by my boyfriend Enrique and used fake names and insurance cards so they could never find us after we left the building. I asked Drake to wait outside, then told the doctors that I had just found out I was pregnant. They ran some tests and told me that none of "Enrique's" kicks had hit me hard enough in the stomach to hurt the baby. However, they did tell me that I needed to stay off my feet for a few days just to be sure that everything was alright.

I spent days contemplating what to do. Days that I was glad the Joker wasn't around so I could actually think of a solution. He was gone for three days after he beat me and he didn't tell anyone where he went. When he came back he didn't even so much as look at me until that night when we went to bed.

I had been sitting on the couch in the living room with my still bruised legs pulled up to my chest. He walked up beside me so quietly that I didn't know he was there until he touched the back of my neck. "Em, come with me," he said softly. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I simply stood up and followed him to the bedroom. He shut the door behind us once we entered the room. I stood with my back to him, facing the bed with my arms crossed. He came up behind me and gently ran his hands up and down my upper arms. He pressed his mouth against my ear and whispered "I had to do that Em. You didn't give me a choice. You could have listened to me but you, uh, didn't." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. "You know I'm only trying to protect you. You belong to _me_ and I can't risk someone _else_ taking you away from me. I don't want to fight anymore though. If you just do what I tell you we can go back to the way things were before."

I didn't see any point in protesting or sticking up for myself. I knew he would just rough me up again. So I nodded, but just barely.

"That's my girl," the Joker said. I got an intense feeling of déjà vu, realizing that we went through the same thing after I saw him kill the young girl two weeks ago. Joker turned me around and started kissing me feverishly. I knew what he wanted and while part of me still loved him and wanted to be with him, I knew that I could never forgive him for the pain he had put me through this last month. He had almost killed me and our unborn child, not that he knew about that, nor would he ever if things went as planned.

This would be my last night with Jack. I had decided that I had to get out and save myself and my child. Things would only get worse if I stayed. I also couldn't imagine the Joker tolerating a baby being around. I was terrified that he would kill it or hurt me in his anger.

We made love one last time. As soon as he fell asleep I slipped out of bed, grabbed the duffle bag that I had hidden earlier, and crept out of the bedroom, taking one last look at my sleeping Joker. Once I closed the bedroom door, I closed the door on _us_.

I quite easily made it to the front door of the warehouse. As I stepped outside it, I was quickly grabbed by someone I couldn't see and slammed into the outside wall. "Who are you!" a voice said quietly, but menacingly. It was Drake.

"Jesus Christ, Drake. It's me." I whispered. Drake released his death grip on me and stepped back.

"Marissa? What the hell are you doing out here? Boss is gonna beat the shit outta you again!" Drake whispered frantically.

"I know. That's why I'm leaving. He isn't who I thought he was. Or well, he isn't who I wanted him to be," I said.

"Em, what am I supposed to do? I work for the Joker. I can't just let his woman leave without telling him," Drake said.

"You wouldn't dare Drake. You can't do that to me. I'm your best friend," I said angrily.

Drake stared at me helplessly. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"Just go inside and pretend like you never saw me. I'm begging you Drake. If I don't get out of here he's going to kill me," I pleaded with him. He stared at me for a few seconds more.

"Fine. I'll do it to protect you," Drake said. I flew forward and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me," I whispered.

"Yeah, well be careful," Drake said.

"You too," I replied. I walked passed Drake and started down the dark alley that led to the street. We lived in a dangerous part of town and it probably wasn't a very good idea to be walking around at night, but what other choice did I have? My only destination right now was as far away as I could get. I headed uptown, where it was probably busier and safer. Half an hour later I was boarding a subway and speeding out of Gotham.

_Yay, another chapter done. Don't worry, this is by far not the last Marissa will see of the Joker. And obviously nobody can get away from the Joker if he doesn't want them to!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Here we go, another chapter. Not the most exciting one, but it needed to be in here for the story to make sense. _

I rested my head on the window of the bus I was on. There were only a few other people on board, so I had the whole seat to myself. I had decided to go to Virginia. I figured it was a beautiful place and it was random, so the Joker would be less likely to find me there. I lay my hands across my stomach trying to imagine a little person growing there. I had always thought that if I got pregnant at a young age I would get an abortion, but somehow I felt like I _wanted _to have this baby. I don't know what was making me accept the fact that I had gotten knocked up, but I was thankful for it. I had already come up with names on the long bus ride. If it was a girl it would be Lily Caroline. If it was a boy it would be Spencer Ryan. Well I had to do something to occupy myself, didn't I?

I won't lie. Honestly, I was still terrified at the thought of being on my own. I knew that I couldn't make contact with my family or any of my old friends for their own sake of protection. I would have to start all over.

* * *

**Five Months Later**

It had been five months since I made my escape from Gotham. I had heard nothing from the Joker or any of his goons and things were looking up.

I was currently residing in a cute little apartment in Virginia, as I had planned. I had gotten a part-time job working in a gothic clothing store to make enough money to get by. Obviously, I was getting very pregnant, as it was now June. Let me just summarize the last five months by saying that I have never felt so sick and emotional in my life. But things were much easier now that I was farther along.

I had also re-enrolled myself in high school and with the help of after school tutoring I was able to catch up with the rest of my class. I had even become really good friends with a girl named Jane Edlund. Jane looked eerily similar to Izzy from _Grey's Anatomy_. She was extremely organized and a neat freak. She was smart and a wonderfully loyal and helpful friend. I loved her to death. Of course, I had decided not to tell her about my past with the Joker and I legally changed my last name to from Knight to Winchester (Need I explain the awesomeness?). It was for her own good.

I was lounging on the couch watching TV. Jane was sitting in a comfy chair nearby, looking over college brochures. We would both be seniors that year, so naturally, we had to find a school we wanted to go to.

Jane sat up suddenly and said "Ooh! Listen to this one. It's in Charleston, South Carolina and it has a lot of amazing psychology courses. That's what you want to be right? A psychologist?"

I leaned back over the arm of the couch to take the brochure from her. It did look like a really good school. It looked small enough that the classes would be more personal, but not small enough that it was a duddy, nobody school.

"This looks awesome. But there's no way I could afford something like this," I said.

"Well, you could get a scholarship. I mean you're smart, you get straight A's. Just do it again this year," Jane said while she munched on some animal crackers. I always kept them in the house. I was obsessed with them.

"I didn't have a baby junior year. I'm gonna have no time. The baby comes in September. How am I going to have time to sleep, let alone study?" I answered pessimistically.

"I'll help you. I'll come over after school and take care of the baby while you get some work done. And we can join lots of clubs because that looks good to colleges. Everything will be okay," Jane said trying to make me feel better.

I sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

* * *

**Four Months Later**

"Jane screw the friggin laptop! I'm having a baby, I need drugs!" I screamed as I waddled towards the door of my English class. I had started having contractions halfway through the day and they got worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore. Jane was trying desperately to gather our school supplies when all I wanted was to get to the hospital and get an epidural.

"Okay, I'm coming!" Jane yelled back. She was by my side instantly and we headed for the hospital.

I won't go into the unpleasant details of childbirth. I don't care what anyone says about it being natural, it is disgusting. But in the end, it is totally worth it. All the pain instantly left my body when it was over. When the nurse put that little dude in my arms I can't possibly explain how it felt. I felt so protective of this person that had just put me through Hell.

It was September twenty-first, just two months after my own birthday when I had turned seventeen. I named him Spencer Ryan Winchester. He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I had worried that once he was born I would constantly be reminded of his father. But I wasn't. He was perfect in every way, shape and form.

_It's a boy! Haha. Couple time jumps in this chapter, so I hope everything made sense. _**: )**


	8. Chapter 8

_Ugh, I have been sick the past few days and I was totally bored and worthless all day. Then this chapter just poured out of me at warp speed, so here it is._

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Jane asked for the millionth time.

"Yes, we will both be fine, I promise," I said laughing. I had brought Spencer home a week ago and Jane had been staying with me to help out. Her parents were being totally cool about letting her pretty much live with me for a week while I got the hang of having a baby. Tonight, however, she had been asked on a date with this hot guy Kevin, who she _really_ liked. Her parents had demanded that she come home after her date though, just so that they knew she wasn't staying out all night with some guy. There was no way I was going to let her miss a date with her dream guy, so I insisted she go. Being the amazing person that she was, she was worried about leaving me and Spencer alone.

"Okay, but call me if anything happens," Jane said in a parental tone.

"Jane I will call you if anything happens, but nothing is going to happen. I need to learn to take care of my baby on my own someday," I said gently.

"Alright," she finally relented.

"Have fun!" I called as she went to the door. She looked over her shoulder and smiled.

"Oh, I will," she said. I laughed and went to put Spencer in his crib by my bed. He hadn't slept in a while and I was exhausted. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I was woken from my sleep by Spencer crying to be fed. I groaned as I sat up and looked at the alarm clock next to my bed. It was a little after ten thirty. I had only been asleep for two hours. "Sh sh sh, Mama's coming," I said quietly as I dragged myself out of my oh-so comfortable bed. I went to the kitchen to heat up a bottle. I was staring at the little bottle spinning around and around and around in the microwave when I heard a sharp rapping sound. "Oh!" I yelled in surprise and spun around. I looked out at the empty kitchen and living room. It was dark, except for the moonlight pouring in the huge living room windows. I heard the noise again. My hands flew back to grip the counter top. I was shaking with fear. The only thing running through my mind was the thought _he found me._

I stood frozen for a minute, too scared to move. I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself. Slowly, I crossed the kitchen and stepped into the living room. My eyes darted around the room. I stepped in front of the window. It was cold, standing there by the glass. All of the sudden a red blur flew out of the dark and crashed into the window. I gave out a short scream, sure that the red blur was none other than the smeared smile of the Joker…but it wasn't. A freaking cardinal had flown right into my window, too fascinated by its own reflection to realize that it was smacking its head into a solid object. I lay a hand over my heart, trying to catch my breath and stop the pounding in my chest. I leaned back against the arm of a chair, staring out the window into the dark. Then the microwave beeped, letting me know that Spencer's milk was heated up. I forced myself to move away from the window, still in a trance.

Back in my bedroom, Spencer was crying insistently, angry that I was taking so long. I scooped him up and got back into my bed, sitting against the headboard. Spencer looked up at me, now happily sucking on his bottle. I turned on the light beside my bed, still shaken from thinking the Joker had found me. "Spence, what are we gonna do?" I asked my week old son. "You're Daddy is a freaking psycho clown." A sob escaped from my lips, but I quickly stifled it. "And I kind of miss him." I did. I missed him. I missed the way he called me doll face and the way he jokingly teased me and the way he made me laugh. I missed being the only one that could make him genuinely smile and the only one he didn't hurt and the only one who knew how much was hiding behind those scars. I shook my head. "No. No, he's gone now. Jack doesn't exist anymore, only the Joker. We're way better off without him, right Spence?" Spencer just stared up at me. "I know, you think I'm crazy."

I wanted to call Jane. But I couldn't. There was no way I could tell her that I had been involved with the Joker. It was too dangerous. If she knew nothing, then he couldn't use her for anything. But still, I wanted nothing more than for her to come over and tell me everything was going to be okay. But everything wasn't okay. No one could ever fill that empty feeling inside of me. I missed my family. I missed being a kid. And I missed Jack. But none of those things existed for me anymore. I was totally and completely alone.

_Please please please review and let me know what you guys think of Strange Is What We Aim For so far. _


	9. Chapter 9

"Oh, thank God you're here," I said exasperated as Jane walked in the door. I had Spencer in my arms and was surrounded by mountains of papers and books I needed to study for my final exams coming up. It was already May. I wanted to ace all my finals so that I'd have a better chance of getting a scholarship for Troy University. I had to study _a lot_.

"Okay, hand over the kid," Jane said as she took Spencer from me. "Hi there, you adorable little boy you!"

I smiled, thankful that Jane was so good with Spencer. I looked back down at the psychology book I had been studying from. "Can you believe we graduate in two weeks? We are officially all grown up then," I said.

"I know, I'm so excited. Then it's on to Troy University! We are going to have so much fun together. I bet South Carolina has a lot of_ really _hot guys too," Jane said dreamily.

"Let's just pass these finals first," I replied. Jane shifted Spencer in her arms.

"Why don't you ever date anyone, Em? You could totally get a guy if you wanted to," Jane said. I had never had to explain why I didn't date to her before. I was still recovering from my tumultuous relationship with the Joker.

"It's just because I was in a really bad relationship. I mean, I guess I'm just not ready to move on. And come on, seriously, do you think I have any time to date right now?" I asked.

"But college is still a few months off. Little Spence here will be a year old by the time we start classes. Things will get easier, I promise," Jane assured me.

"I hope you're right. But I just don't want to deal with the drama of a boyfriend yet," I lied. Really, I wanted to keep the people I got close to, to a minimum. If for some reason the Joker found me again I didn't want him to be able to use anyone else as leverage, even though it had been over a year since I had seen him.

_Sorry, short chapter today. _


	10. Chapter 10

_Okay, so I"m uploading another chapter today, since the last one was so short. Hope you all like it!_

**Three Years Later**

"Mommy, is it supposed to look like this?" I heard Spencer ask questioningly. I turned around from the kitchen table where I was putting all of my things into a bag. Spencer was standing in the middle of the living room with his shoes on the wrong feet. I laughed and quickly walked over to him.

"Not quite. You got 'em on the wrong feet, buddy," I said as I knelt to fix his shoes. He sighed dramatically.

"I's so hard," he said, frustrated.

"You'll be able to tie your shoes by yourself soon, Spence," I said. "Okay, you ready to go to Janie's?"

"Yay! Aunt Janie! Are we gonna go see the big fishys again?" Spencer asked.

"I don't know, if it's okay with Aunt Janie maybe," I said. Jane watched Spencer on Wednesdays because I had classes all day. It was October of 2013. Jane and I had both made it into Troy University with full scholarships. We lived close to campus in apartments near each other. Spencer was three now and Jane had taken him to the zoo last week. He had loved the dolphins and it was all he talked about.

I grabbed his backpack and my own bag, took his hand and ushered him out the door of the apartment. When we stepped outside I was taken aback by the intense beauty of my home. It was insanely hot out, but that's just how I liked it. There wasn't a cloud in the light blue sky. Palm trees lined the quiet roadways, while seagulls chirped noisily overhead. The surrounding apartments and beach houses were all pastel, summery colors. I loved living in a vacation site.

We walked the few short blocks to Jane's house where I dropped off Spencer, then headed to the campus. Everything I needed to survive was all in one close proximity, so I didn't see the need to spend money on a car. Besides, Jane had one that we used for rare long trips.

I glanced at my phone to check the time as I hurried to my building. I was so distracted in my rush to get to class that I didn't see the person coming straight at me.

"Oof!" we both said in unison as we collided. Apparently he had been distracted too. All of the books and binders I had been holding tumbled to the ground. "I'm so sorry!" we said together again.

"That was totally my fault. I wasn't looking," I said mortified as I knelt to pick up my things.

"No, it was my fault. I wasn't paying attention," said the man apologetically. He got on one knee to help me get my things.

"Thanks," I said as I took a book from him, looking at him for the first time. My mouth literally dropped open slightly as I took in the man across from me. I stared in awe. Then I noticed that he was gawking in the same way.

"Hi," he sighed as a lopsided smile appeared on his lips.

"Hi," I breathed. He was gorgeous, adorable, _hot_. He had shaggy, light brown hair. His eyes were a dark, chocolatey brown. His smile showed off perfectly strait white teeth. We both stood slowly, still gazing at each other. I now saw that he was a lot taller than me. _Perfect._ He had a lanky frame and wore a green t-shirt and cargo shorts. He sort of resembled Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Shaggy _had_ always been my favorite.

"I'm really sorry about that," he said still smiling goofily.

"Oh, don't worry about it," I said, a smile playing on my own lips.

"So, are you a student here?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"What's your major?"

"Oh, um, psychology." I said. I don't know why I was embarrassed about that, but I blushed anyway.

"Cool, so you can like, know what people are thinking," he said.

I laughed. "Something like that." We couldn't stop smiling at each other. It wasn't awkward or anything, we were just amazed by one another.

"I'm Nick," he said.

"Marissa," I answered.

"I know this is gonna seem weird, but are you doing anything right now?" Nick asked hopefully.

"Well, I'm going to class right now, but I have a break in an hour," I said trying not to sound uninterested.

"Okay. Can I meet you here in an hour then?"

"Yeah, I'd like that"

"Okay, cool."

"Cool." I smiled again and walked past him to get to my class. I couldn't resist the urge to turn around and get a last look at him. I laughed when I saw that he was still watching me. He smiled again too, and then turned to leave.

* * *

"Seriously! You cut your thumb in half on a power-saw?" I asked incredulously. Nick and I were sitting in a coffee shop near campus. Can I just reiterate how totally cute this guy was?

"Yeah, it was pretty stupid. It bled like a bitch though! I had to call 911 and everything," Nick said, probably trying to impress me with some gross manly story. And it was working.

"That's actually pretty hot," I said. Might as well let him know I was into him. "That you're a carpenter and everything. I can't stand men who sit behind a desk." I might as well also let him know that I don't date businessmen.

"Oh God, I could never sit behind a desk all day! That would be so boring!" Nick agreed. I was _really_ starting to like this guy.

"You're so lucky you've lived on a beach all your life. I love it here. I wish I would have come down here sooner," I said truthfully.

"Where did you live before college?" Nick asked. Shit. I shouldn't have brought up former living arrangements. I had totally forgotten all about the Joker while I was talking to Nick. It just felt so natural to be with Nick that I didn't even think about avoiding people to keep them safe. I couldn't do this. Being with Nick could only endanger him.

"Oh, you know…North," I said. He looked slightly confused. And in that moment the thought of losing him was so painful that I couldn't control what came out of my mouth next. "Sorry. I'm from Gotham. And I didn't want to say right away because I went through a lot of bad experiences up there and my immediate reaction is to deny where I'm from because I kind of try to block those experiences from my memory. Oh God, now I'm rambling and you think I'm insane!" I laughed nervously. To my complete and utter relief Nick laughed too.

"Oh! Don't worry about it. Everyone has something in their past that they try to forget," Nick said. "And uh…I don't think you're insane either. The way you panicked there was actually kinda funny." He added and started laughing.

"Ugh! You suck! Laughing at my embarrassment!" I said as I playfully shoved him.

"Okay, okay! It was really cute too," Nick said. I smiled at this. Sitting there at that little table in the coffee shop was one of the best moments of my life. I could just relax and talk to someone like I was a normal person. There was no Joker, no lying about who I was, I was just having a good time with a really cute guy.

* * *

Nick and I got pretty serious after that first date. I eventually told him about Spencer and he took that a lot better than I thought he would. He actually really liked hanging out together, all three of us. His personality was just so goofy that he was sort of like a big kid himself. Things were so perfect and happy that I never dreamed that anything could possibly go wrong.

_Yay! Marissa has a new boyfriend! My mental image of Nick is this guy who played Shaggy in Scooby-Doo! The Mystery Begins. Just so that you all know I do not have a crush on a cartoon or anything. :)_


	11. Chapter 11

_I like how this chapter turned out. Let me know what y'all think._

**Two Years Later**

I grabbed onto the doorway of the hallway and propelled myself around the corner. I ran to the apartment door and flung it open, a huge smile spreading across my face. "Hey, there are my men!" I exclaimed. Nick and Kevin, who was holding five year old Spencer, stood in the doorway. They had gone Christmas shopping for Jane and I and offered to take Spencer with them for a boys' day out.

"You ready to go?" Kevin asked smiling.

"You know it!" I said. "What about you Spence? Are you ready to go ice skating around the big Christmas tree?"

"Yeah! Is Santa gonna be there Mommy?" he asked.

"You know what, I think he just might be," I said. I took Nick's hand and we walked down to the busy streets of New York City, where we had decided to spend Christmas with Kevin's family. When we got to Rockefeller Center Spencer skated between Nick and I.

"Faster!" Spencer shouted happily. Nick and I shared a look and laughed. Before I could protest, he took off, dragging me and Spencer with him. "Whoa!" Spencer laughed hysterically. The next thing I knew, Nick's feet were out from under him and up in the air. Spencer and I followed suit. We all lay in a pile and to my relief, both of my boys were laughing. I started laughing with them.

"I love you!" I said to Nick.

"I love you too!" Nick said between laughs.

* * *

Later that night, at about ten thirty, Nick, Spencer, and I went back to the apartment that we were renting for December and January. I finally got Spencer to go to sleep after he talked endlessly about seeing Santa Claus and the huge Christmas tree. I walked out into the living room and saw Nick putting his coat back on. "Where are you going?" I asked worriedly.

"I have to go pick something up. Don't worry, I'll only be twenty minutes and I'll be right back," Nick said and kissed me quickly. "I promise I'll come straight home," he added when he saw my confusion.

"Can't you wait until tomorrow?" I said as he headed to the door.

"Nope, I can't wait another second. I ordered something for you and they just called to say it arrived, so I'm going to get it. I love you!" Nick yelled from the hallway.

"Okay, bye," I said to no one. I had just sat down on the couch when there was a knock on the door. "Back already?" I asked myself. I opened the door and stumbled back in shock.

"Marissa," Drake said as he let himself into the room. "I have to talk to you."

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"I had to talk to you. I had to warn you," he said out of breath. "Oh God, you have no idea how worried I've been about you." Drake came over and we embraced each other tightly.

"I know, I've worried about you too," I said, my panic rising.

"I don't have much time. He wants you Marissa. He's looking for you."

"What? Why has he decided he wants me just now?"

"No, it's been since you left. He couldn't find you, I never told him you anything and you must have covered your tracks really well. But he knows you're here, you have to come with me now. We have to run," Drake spilled out quickly.

"He found me? You mean he knows exactly where I am?"

"Yes! Come on we have to go _now!" _He said taking my hands and pulling me towards the door.

"Drake wait, I have to get my son!" I said dragging him back into the apartment. His jaw literally dropped and he stopped moving.

"You have a-" Drake started to say, but before he could finish a gun went off behind him and a bloody hole appeared in his forehead. Blood splattered onto my chest and neck and I jumped. Drake was still holding my hand as his body fell away to reveal his killer behind him.

"Hello, Beautiful," the Joker said as if he hadn't just killed one of my best friends.

"No," I whispered. "How did you find me?"

"Oh, sweetheart, you didn't think you could get away from me, did you?" he said and walked slowly towards me. "You've been a very bad girl. And, uh, I think you need to be taught a lesson." He pulled out a knife and advanced on my slowly. But I couldn't run. I had to keep him as far away from Spencer as possible and I would have to run right past his room if I tried to get back to my room.

"Get. The Hell. Away from me," I said in a low, menacing voice.

"What are you gonna do Em? Hm? Remember, we both know who would win in a _real_ fight," the Joker said and lunged at me. I refused to stand still and let him attack me and I was no good to Spencer dead, so I had no choice but to run to the back of the apartment. I narrowly missed the Joker's groping arms and knife as I sped to the bedroom I shared with Nick. I slammed the door shut, but before I could lock it the Joker kicked it right in. One hand wrapped around my neck while the other pushed on my waist to force me back into the wall. The hand on my waist then moved to my mouth, the Joker's favorite way to torment people, with his knife threatening to carve their face just like his.

"I promised you we'd be together forever. I'm a man of my wor-_d_," he said in a strangely deep voice.

"You also promised me you'd never hurt me. You had no trouble breaking that one!" I said trying to keep my voice from rising and waking Spencer. Too late.

"Mommy! I heard Spencer yell, then to my horror, his little self appeared in the doorway of my bedroom. "Mommy who is that!" he screamed, terrified.

The Joker whirled his head around and stared at our son…unbeknownst to him. For once, I think he was too shocked to do anything. I grabbed both of the Joker's arms in an attempt to keep him from running after my son, if he tried to.

"Spencer go back to your room, lock the door and don't open it for anyone!" I yelled quickly. To my relief, Spencer ran and did exactly what I asked. My relief soon lessened when the Joker turned his head slowly back to face me. And he looked _pissed._

"You screwed around with some guy? You let some guy fuck you when you knew you belonged to me? Very, very bad move there, princess," he said. He smacked me across the face. "How could you do that!" He slammed me into the wall. "I _told _you that you belonged to me! Did I not make that _perfectly_ clear!" He stared at me breathing heavily for a few seconds. "I'll just go take care of that little brat and this will all go away. Then I'll deal with you." He started towards Spencer's room.

"No! Don't kill him! I swear to God if you hurt him!" I screamed, storming after him. The Joker wasn't stopping. I didn't know what else to do, so I yelled the only thing I could think of. "He's yours! Joker, he's yours!" That stopped him in his tracks.

"He's what?" the Joker asked. I raised my hands to my face, horrified at what I had just done, but knowing there was no other way to keep my son alive.

"He's your son. I got pregnant before I left and he's definitely yours," I confessed. I started to shake with anger, terrified that the Joker would kill our son anyway. "And if you hurt him…" I couldn't finish my sentence. The Joker had turned around was now facing me.

"I... have a son," he said unbelieving. "An heir to carry on his daddy's business! I could get used to this."

"No! That is exactly why I left! I will not let you corrupt him!" I screamed. The tears were really threatening to flow now. The Joker's face grew soft. He came over and gently cupped my face, but I pushed him away.

"Hey shh shh shh shh shh," he soothed as he replaced his hands and brushed my hair back. "Don't you see what this means? We can be together now and I don't have to carve up your pretty little face. I'll take you back to Gotham and you can be my little queen again. We'll raise our son," this he said with a smile on his face "and everything will be the way it was before. Everything will be perfect."

I looked into those dark eyes and tried to find some amount of humanity in them. But all I saw was black evil and hatred. I shivered as the Joker pressed a kiss to my lips and I realized that everything I had done to protect the people I loved was for nothing.

_The Joker is back! I know we all missed him. But Drake is now dead, which I'm kind of sad that I killed him, because I liked him. But I think he needed to die. Anyway, please review!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hey everybody, here is the next chapter. Hope you all like it!_

The Joker pulled away and gazed into my eyes. Those eyes. I had memorized every detail of those eyes. They were the only part of the Joker that didn't change when he put his make-up on. Back when we first got together, I had always loved his eyes the best because they were the only familiar thing that reminded me that he was in fact human. Now, I found no comfort there at all.

Distantly I heard sirens blaring. I silently prayed that they were coming here, but sirens blare all the time in New York. The Joker must have gone through the same thought process, because his eyes flicked to the window in my room, but he still seemed relaxed. He leaned his forehead against mine. "I'll be back for you," he whispered. He squeezed the back of my neck tightly. Then he walked over to the window that had a fire escape under it. "Oh, and sweetheart? Don't try anything. I'm always watching you." With that he was gone.

I stood rooted to the floor. I gasped for the breath he had so ruthlessly taken from me. I knew I had to go get Spencer, but how do you explain why a bloody, mutilated clown was pinning your mommy to a wall? And even worse, do I keep the fact that that clown is his father a secret or try to beat the Joker to the punch?

And why did he leave without me? If he had taken the trouble to break in then why would he plan on coming back instead of just taking me right then? Was he really that desperate for chaos and fear that he would do something like that?

That's when I remembered Drake's body. It was still lying in a pool of blood in my kitchen. I ran from the bedroom only to discover that the body wasn't there anymore. Neither was the blood. Then it hit me. This was the Joker's way of saying that he wasn't alone. He had help. And they were at his every beck and call. The tears came back. I realized how crazy it would seem to explain everything to Nick. But I couldn't explain. I couldn't tell him anything. I had to protect him. Not to mention, Nick would _hate_ me if he knew that I had gotten knocked up by the _Joker_.

I pushed my fears aside, lifted my head up, and rushed into the bathroom to wipe off all the blood on my chest. I made a noise of disgust when I saw that some of the Joker's white face paint had rubbed off onto my forehead and furiously scrubbed that off as well. I hurried to Spencer's room. I smiled a little when I found that the door was locked tight. "Spencer, its Mommy. You can open the door now, he's gone."

I heard a click and then Spencer's little face appeared from the crack in the door. "Are you _sure_ Mom?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. Everything's okay now," I said and got down on his level. "Gimme a hug, buddy." Spencer came running to me. I held on to him like there was no tomorrow. In fact, I really hoped we would both live to see tomorrow.

Just then, Nick opened the door. Spencer and I both jumped and he held on tighter. "Mommy!" he screamed. Nick stopped in the doorway and looked confused.

"It's okay Spence, it's just Nick," I said soothingly. I stroked his hair and picked him up.

"What's going on?" Nick said and hurried over to us. I could tell he was concerned.

"Bad dream," I whispered, lying. Nick rubbed a hand up and down Spencer's back.

"Will you be okay, little dude?" he asked. Spencer shook his head. Nick looked at me. "Are you okay?" he whispered to me. He must have seen the worry etched all over my face. Obviously, this wasn't the first time Spencer had "had a nightmare," or so I was saying to cover up my current predicament. I usually wouldn't have been this upset if Spencer had woken up in the middle of the night.

"He just startled me. And you know, being in New York, and you not being with us, I just thought the worst." I hated lying to him. And even worse, I was becoming pretty good at it. I had been lying the past five years of my life to everyone I'd ever spoken to. It becomes natural after a while.

"Maybe we should go over to Jane and Kevin's," I said, desperately trying to find a way to get us out of the apartment.

"Babe, I think they want to be alone tonight, if you know what I mean," he said chuckling.

"I know, but…" I started to say.

"Baby you're okay now. I'm here, nothing bad is gonna happen," Nick said reassuringly. I sighed. How the Hell was I going to keep him safe from the Joker without telling him and making him think I'm crazy?

So it was decided that we would all stay in the same room that night. I barely slept. When I did sleep, it wasn't of my own free will. I stared constantly at the window the Joker had left from. He said he'd be back for me. The only questions were when and how the hell I'd make sure we weren't here when it happened.

_Okay, so just in case it didn't make sense, Marissa is afraid to tell Nick about the fact that she was kidnapped by the Joker, because then she would have to tell him that the Joker is also Spencer's father. Obviously she isn't very proud of that and she doesn't want Spencer to find out that his father is a serial killer. So basically, she is thinking she is going to have to find a way out of this on her own without Nick's help. Which isn't very smart, I know, but being around the Joker messes with people's mind. Alrighty, hope everything makes sense. Thanks for reading guys! _


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey everybody! I've been rushing to write this chapter all day because my internet is going to be shut down tonight and I have no idea when we are going to turn it back on. This is short and not the most exciting chapter, I know, but I promise the next one is going to be awesome! I'm really excited for it, but I just wanted to give you guys something now in case I can't update for a little while. Enjoy!_

It was Christmas Eve. I was determined not to let the Joker ruin this day for us. It had been two days since the incident with him and Drake and nothing else had happened.

Except that my hate had grown for him. Don't get me wrong, I hated him when he beat me, when he got me pregnant, when he killed innocent people. But there had always been that underlying love that I still had for him. He was still the same person. Now, that love had died. It had been shredded, burned, and then shot into outer space in a locked safe. He had killed my best friend. He had endangered my son and the man I loved. I had notified the police that I thought I was in danger. They said they would keep an eye out, but apparently the Joker hadn't been causing a lot of trouble lately and there were even rumors the he was dead. So basically, the Joker was watching me and the police were no help. He had trapped me in my own apartment, knowing that staying here would be like throwing myself willingly into his open arms, and leaving here would be sacrificing everyone's lives. _Everyone's._

But oh well. I'm not going to think about that today. I don't care. If he thinks he can just come back here and take me and Spencer without a fight, he's got another thing coming. I don't even care if he's sitting right outside my window right now watching me get ready to go out with the gang for dinner. Yeah, that's right. I'm going out. And I'd like to see him try to stop me. You hear me Joker! I am going out with my family and there is nothing you can do about it!

Okay, that's the part of me that likes to pretend I'm brave talking. I'm scared shitless. I mean seriously? He could totally be sitting outside my window watching me. The thought made me want to get out of the room. I walked to the kitchen only to be reminded that there are in fact windows there too.

"Look at you, gorgeous!" Nick said. Once again, I was totally taken aback by him. He had on this dark red button down shirt with black dress pants on and a matching jacket over it. His hair was all out of his face, but not slicked flat back. Sort of like Edward Cullen's hair.

I smiled and did a little twirl in my red halter dress. "You're looking rather dashing yourself, Mr. Palatas," I said flirtatiously. The stereo was on in the kitchen. I had been playing Jason Mraz because it calms me down. The song "Lucky" was playing. Nick and I walked over to each other and started dancing. We are _very_ good dancer, if I do say so myself.

"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where we have been," Nick sang. We danced all around the small kitchen. Nick continued to sing and rock us back and forth. I laughed. My smile was so big it hurt. Nick finished the dance with a dip.

"Oh my God Nick! You're so adorable!" I laughed.

"How adorable?" Nick asked.

"So much it hurts!" I said.

"That much really?" he said. I nodded, both of us still smiling all flirty. "Well, I was gonna wait to ask you this later tonight, but since I'm being so adorable now..."

I was confused. "Nick, what are you-" I started to say. Nick took something out of his pocket. It was a ring.

"Marissa, I love you. Will you marry me?" Everything went away. We were the only two people in the entire world and nothing else mattered.

"Yes!" I screamed. I jumped up and wrapped my arms and legs around him, pecking continuous kisses on his cheek. He wrapped his arms around me and started laughing. I pulled away and grabbed both sides of his face. "I love you Nick Palatas!" I said forcefully.

Nick made a fake angry face back at me. "I love you too Marissa Winchester!" We kissed.

Then I heard Spencer say "Nick did you do it! Did you ask her yet!" I looked at Nick questioningly. He shrugged.

"I asked him if it was okay if I wanted to marry his Mommy. He said it was about time," Nick put me down and we all laughed at this. We went out to dinner with Kevin and Jane and told them our news. Now we were all getting married. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. I was happy. I was especially happy when they said we should come stay in their apartment that night so that we could all be together on Christmas. But the good times can't last forever. The Joker will make sure of that.


	14. Chapter 14

_This chapter is much better than the last, I think. Hope you all like it!_

Nick, Spencer and I got home at eleven o'clock. We had strolled through the busy streets of New York looking at all the decorations after dinner. We were going to quickly pack up some things and then head over to Kevin and Jane's place. I had changed into jeans and a t-shirt and was helping Spencer pack a few things to take.

"Mommy, who was that man that looked like a clown?" Spencer blurted. I didn't know what to say. Spencer was the only person I couldn't lie to. Yeah, I told him about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and all that, but I never lied about something serious.

"He was a friend of Mommy's." Rule broken.

"But why was he hurting you? You were crying Mommy, I saw you," Spencer looked up at me expectantly. I can't believe a five year old held in all these questions so long. And God am I thankful that he didn't say any of this in front of Nick.

"I just hadn't seen him in a long time. He wanted me to go spend some time with him, but I didn't want to leave you and Nick because you two are the most important things in the world to me," I said, sticking as close to the truth as possible. It's not like my son should know these things when he is so young anyway.

"Why were you screaming at him? Did he do something bad so you had to yell at him? Cause that's what happens when I get in trouble. You get mad and you tell me to go to time out."

"Spence, all that's important is that he's gone and he's not coming back. You never have to see him again, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you," I said, almost assuring myself, as well as Spencer.

"Did Nick make him go away?" Spencer asked.

"No, Nick didn't. Spencer, can you promise me something?" He nodded. "Promise me that you won't say anything about this to Nick, okay? Nick would get really angry if he knew and then we would all be in trouble. Do you think you can do that?"

"But why can't we tell Nick?"

I sighed and told him exactly what would happen if he told Nick the truth. "Because Nick would be in a lot of danger if he knew anything about that man. And we don't want that, do we?"

Spencer shook his head hard. He loved Nick. I mean, he really loved him. I told him to grab anything else he wanted and left the room, leaving the door open a crack.

I walked back to the bedroom to get myself ready to go. I reached to flick on the light and instead of feeling the wall I felt a person. This person flew into action and clamped a hand over my mouth to stop my scream…a gloved hand. I heard the door shut and then I was pushed backwards onto the bed. I held myself up at an angle so that I still had some control. The person's face came into the moonlight streaming through the windows. It was the Joker.

"I told you I'd come back for ya, doll face," He said cheerfully. "Now are you ready to come home with me?"

I felt so stupid. I should have tried harder to leave, I should have done _something_. But I just sat here in fear, praying that he wouldn't return.

"Oh, and by the way, I saw that little, ahem, _Romeo_ of yours tonight. I hope you enjoyed him while he was alive."

That set me off. My hands scraped and punched and clawed at him. We struggled like that for a few minutes until he dropped all his weight on top of me and pinned me to the bed. I still couldn't scream.

"That's right princess, I've been watching you, 24/7. You couldn't have left this city if you'd tried. Which was a good move on your part that you didn't, because I've got this entire place rigged with bombs that could have gone off if I thought you wre leaving for good," He said as I continued to wriggle underneath him. If I could just get myself in the right position…

"But you're gonna have to pay for slutting around on me," he said as he reached in his pocket with his free arm and pulled out a knife. I started breathing harder. I just had to move myself up a little further.

He pressed the edge of the shiny steel blade into my chest. I squealed at the pain that came with it. The Joker bent down and licked the blood off my chest. While disgusted, I took advantage of the moment.

I worked my leg out from beneath his and BAM! Into his balls it went! I know he was caught off guard because he gasped in pain and let go of me. I screamed louder than I ever have in my life. I dug my nails into his face and pushed him off of me. I almost made it to the door when the Joker's arms wrapped around my and his chest slammed into my back as he tackled me to the floor. Honestly, it probably looked pretty comical the way he leaped across the room like that.

"Nick!" I screamed. "Call the cops!" The Joker and I wrestled around on the floor. Suddenly another set of hands were grabbing me and helping the Joker hold me down. It was a henchman of the Joker's I didn't recognize. Soon the Joker was straddling me while the other guy tied my hands together.

"_Why_ do you insist on being so _difficult_? All I wanted to do was take you back. And yet you insist on fighting me. Very bad move princess, very bad," the Joker said.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed while the henchman finished tying my hands up in front of me. I continued to flail and swing as best I could, desperate to get away, even though I knew escape was becoming a dimmer and dimmer hope.

"Ah, but I can't_._ You see, I always get what I wan-_t_. And what I want is you. So you're just- oof!-gonna have to deal with-ugh!-it!" he said while he continued to wrestle with me.

"No! No no no no no! You can't have me!" I screamed.

"Excuse me? Are you telling me what to do? I make the decisions around here toots."

And with that, his henchman picked me up off the ground and set me on my feet. The Joker flung the bedroom door open like he was walking onto a stage. I was shoved after him out into the living room. My heart dropped even further than it had to begin with. Sitting on the couch with a gun pressed to his head was Nick. Next to him was Spencer, terrified and crying, his little hands tied together like mine. I knew I should have stayed calm to keep Spencer calm, but I just couldn't take anymore.

I spun in a half circle, swinging my confined fists into the henchman's face. Blood spurted from his now horrifically broken nose. My leg followed the same path as my fists and swung up to kick him across the head! FWAM! He was on the floor! My small victory was soon over when the Joker's arm flew across my chest and his knife dug into my neck.

Spencer was hysterical now. Nick was holding him close and covering his eyes. "Marissa, what's going on?" Nick asked me in a tone that was both angry and scared. Before I could answer, the Joker jerked me back into him and pressed his knife into me harder.

"You mean Marissa hasn't told you about me? Well, well, well, this certainly comes as a surprise! You've lied to him, haven't you sweetheart? Hmm? You must have done a pretty good job. I mean, keeping it a secret for the past-how long has it been-six years? Very impressive, beautiful, very impressive," the Joker taunted.

"Just let them go. You can take me, just leave them out of it. They have nothing to do with this," I said. I was a mama bear protecting her baby now. There was no fear, other than fear for Spencer. I would do anything the Joker wanted me to at this point.

"Oh, but they do have something to do with this," the Joker said looking at Nick.

"Marissa, what is he talking about? How do you know the fucking Joker!" Nick demanded.

"Oh we go waaay back," Joker said. "Back to when she was sixteen. I took her you see, and made her my little queen. Sweet, innocent, little Marissa." I glared sideways at him. He was staring back at me, our faces inches apart.

"But she was a very bad girl and ran away," he said more to me than anyone else. Then he turned back to Nick and continued his story again. "And the best part is that she ran away because of _tha-t _little boy right there." He pointed the knife that had been on my neck at Spencer. I shut my eyes. This is the last possible way I wanted Spencer to find out. Not like this. Not from the Joker himself while we were surrounded by guns and danger.

Nick looked down at Spencer. When he looked back at me, I knew he had to be disgusted at what I'd done. Spencer seemed oblivious to what was being said, just burying his face in Nick's chest.

The Joker continued "Yes! Marissa got pregnant with-what was it?-Spencer! And somehow she got it into her head that she had to leave. But now here we all are! Me, my queen, and Spencer…our son."

_Oh snap! The Joker just spilled the beans that he is Spencer's father. Please review and let me know what you think. :)_


	15. Chapter 15

_Hey everybody, here's another chapter. Hope y'all like it. _

I stood rooted to the spot. I couldn't speak. What could I say? Nothing could fix what I'd done. I'd gotten myself into this and dragged everyone along with me.

"You bastard! How could you do this to a child? Let alone your own son-" Nick screamed before he was cut off by the butt of a gun striking him across the face. I jumped and tried to get free.

"Oh shh shh shh, he's alright," the Joker said and pulled me closer to him. He put his face close to mine and shifted into a soothing tone of voice. "I won't let them do anything to you, precious." I felt nausea build up in me. How could I have loved this man?

Nick took Spencer in his arms once more. I couldn't tell if Spencer understood what was going on or not. He was just huddling into Nick.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. Suddenly, everyone in the room fell silent as we heard a knock on the door. The Joker immediately changed his loving, protective demeanor with me to a stone cold killer once more. He rammed the knife against my side and led me to the door.

"Now you're gonna open the door and calmly explain that everything is fine, got it? Or this knife will be in your stomach faster than you can 'help,'" the Joker muttered

I cautiously opened the door a crack to see a little old lady's face. "Um, can I help you?" I asked trying to keep calm.

"Uh, yes, I'm Laverne, your neighbor. I just heard a lot of yelling and ruckus over here and wanted to make sure everything was alright," Laverne said.

"Oh, that was just my fiancé and I arguing. We're fine though, we've come to an agreement and everything is better now," I said.

"Well, it has quieted down I suppose. Are you sure you're alright dear?" Laverne persisted. I knew what I must look like. Shaky, bloodshot eyes, scared of the knife ramming into me and the gun at my family's head.

"Yes, we're all okay. Thank you so much for your concern," I replied. We said goodnight and I closed the door as she turned back to her apartment across the hall. The Joker wrenched me up against him again.

"Lock it," he said menacingly. I did what he said and dragged me back into the living room. "Oh-_kay. _So here is our current pre-dic-a-_ment._ I want Marissa back for myself. But Nick, you also want Marissa. And then of course, Marissa wants to be with Spencer. So who is getting screwed in this deal, huh?" He looked around at all of us. "I think we all know the answer to that question."

The room fell into chaos. I started struggling against him and Spencer started crying again. Nick was arguing even though no one was really listening, because the Joker was making himself be heard no matter what.

"_I_, obviously, will be taking Marissa back home with me. And of course that means little Spencer is going to come with us. So, Nick, looks like you're outta luck buddy. Oh calm down sugar, I'm getting tired of fighting with you. Boys, grab some of their stuff and then we're out of here. Oh, and will someone please kill Romeo at some point?"

"No, please don't kill him, please! I promise I won't ever leave you again, you can do whatever you want to me forever!" I pleaded. He wasn't listening.

The henchmen moved fast and within five minutes we were at the fire escape in my room above the alley again. I twisted around in horror trying to look at Nick one last time. "I love you," he mouthed soundlessly. Spencer and I were both sobbing, but we couldn't' scream because of the guns at our heads. We were forcefully shoved down the fire escape and towards a shady looking van. I heard a gunshot from the apartment.

"No! No! Oh my God, Nick," I cried. My sobs were sickening and painful. I felt nauseous. The Joker pushed us into the back of the van. I knew it was over.

_Oooo, what is going to happen now that the Joker has Marissa and Spencer? Keep reading to find out! Thanks to everybody that leaves me reviews!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Things for Marissa go from bad to worse in this chapter. Rated M for a reason!_

He was keeping us in a small, dark room. I clung to Spencer while he slept in my lap. They had untied us and thrown us in here at least an hour ago. I felt dead inside. That gunshot before we left. Nick might be dead. And it was my fault.

Suddenly the door flew open. The Joker was standing in the doorway. "Get up," he said. I tightened my grip on Spencer and did as he said. He stood aside and gestured for me to walk through. There was a long, dimly lit hallway in front of me. The lights flickered off the empty gray walls. Yet another of the Joker's creepy hideouts. I slowly walked down the hall, seeing as there was no place else to go. I could hear the Joker's footsteps behind me. At the end of the hall was a narrow staircase. I stopped walking. "Up," the Joker commanded.

When we got to the top of the stairs a hallway, equally as dim as the first, split in two different directions. "Left, third door," he said.

I glanced down at Spencer trying not to wake him back up to this nightmare. I opened the door to see a room with a single little bed. I walked in slowly, assuming this is where Spencer and I were supposed to stay now. The Joker leaned against the doorframe.

"Well, say goodnight to Spencer," he sighed nonchalantly. I turned around as quickly as I could with Spencer in my arms.

"What?" I whispered.

"This is Spencer's room. You're staying with me," he answered.

"No. I don't wanna leave him. He'll be scared," I said softly. I started crying again. The Joker walked over to me and put his hand on my arm.

"We'll be right down the hall. If he wakes up screaming, I promise you'll be able to hear him," he said earnestly. I took a step back and shook my head.

"Marissa, put him down," the Joker said and headed towards me again. I let out a sob and continued to walk backwards. Spencer stirred in my arms.

"Mommy?" he looked up at me.

"Everything's okay baby," I said. I locked eyes with the Joker.

"Put. Him. Down. Before I get angry," he said deeply.

"Spence, we're gonna play a game okay? Now the rules are we're superheroes! And we both have different missions. So, you're gonna stay and guard this room, while Mommy goes and takes care of the bad guys in another room. Ya got it?" I said, trying to sound happy.

"Mommy I wanna go with you!" Spencer cried.

"I know, but you have to be a brave little superhero and stay in this room okay? I'll be right down the hall and I promise I'll come check on you." I assured him.

"Okay. But are you gonna lie about this promise like you did when you said that man wouldn't come back?" he asked me sadly.

"I promise you Spencer. I will come back for you as soon as I can," I said firmly. I walked over to the little bed and set him down. "Get some sleep baby."

I kissed his head and walked out of the room quickly so that Spencer wouldn't see me cry. The Joker shut and locked the door. I stopped in the hallway and covered my face with my hands. He came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Come with me," he whispered. I followed him a few doors down until he opened one on the opposite side of the hall. Once again, he ushered me into the room and then locked the door behind us. I took in the room around me.

It was bigger than the room Spencer was in, and had maroon walls and ceiling. In the center of the wall opposite the door was a queen bed with a black comforter. Obviously, no one thought interior decorating was important here. There were end tables on each side of the bed and one dresser.

I stood with my back to the Joker. He came up behind me and put a hand on each of my upper arms. He rested his forehead against the back of my head. I felt his hot breath against my neck as he sighed. "Marissa," he breathed. "I missed you." I shivered. I did not want him this close to me. I wanted to be anywhere else.

"I want my son," I whispered.

"I know. But I want you. And I always get what I want."

"But why do you want me? I mean nothing to you anymore."

"You mean everything to me."

"Is that why you hit me?" It slipped out before I could stop it. He wasn't going to like that. He pulled away.

"Maybe if you did as you were told, I wouldn't have to smack you around so much," he retorted. He walked to the other side of the room and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"What do you want from me?" I asked. He spun around again, his demeanor changing to a more urgent, pleading tone.

"I want to be with you. I want you to worship me like you did before. I want you to stay with me forever," he was in front of me again, cupping my face and looking directly into my eyes. "I want you to love me again. I want you to have sex with me again and be the perfect little girl you were when this all started. _I want you to be mine forever._" I had never heard him talk like this before, except for the time he told me he loved me, and even that wasn't this intense. I shook my head, trying to process everything I had just heard.

"But… I don't love you anymore," I said. He shoved himself away from me again.

"Oh, but you will. Just wait. Soon enough you will be begging for me to come protect you," he said angrily. "And if you want our son to live through the night you'll shut the hell up and get into bed with me." I swallowed hard.

"If you think I'm having sex with you, you've got another thing coming dude," I said. I would do it if I thought he would kill Spencer, but right now, he was all the way down the hall out of harm's way.

"That's where you're wrong princess," He growled.

***Explicit Scene***

"No! Stay away from me!" I yelled as the Joker quickly crossed the room to me. There was nothing in the room to use as a weapon and nowhere to go. I was trapped.

The Joker whipped out a knife and in one fatal slash he managed to cut most of my shirt off. Then his arm was around my back, pressing me to him while the knife rested on my neck. "Do what I say or I'll go after that tall blonde you're always with," he said menacingly. Jane. I had to protect Jane. The Joker slid the blade under my bra strap, and sliced it in half, making me flinch. His eyes moved from my chest to my lips. His mouth smashed into mine, hungrily kissing me. I made a noise of protest and tried to shove him away, but he was far too strong for me. I heard the knife clatter to the floor and the Joker's hand went to the back of my neck, holding me still. He started to maneuver us towards the bed. I forcefully drew away from him. His hands grabbed me quickly and tightly and I flew back into his chest like a slingshot. "I know where Jane lives, Marissa. I will kill her," he said.

He knew her name. He really could kill her. More silent tears streamed down my face as the Joker pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me. He grabbed the front of my bra between my cleavage and ripped it off me. I shut my eyes while he roughly grabbed my breasts. _Oh my God, this can't be happening_, I thought as the Joker hastily took off the rest of our clothing. I tried to block him out. I let my mind go blank and I tried so hard to space out and not feel the dirty, murderous hands roaming my body.

A sharp smack across my face brought me back to reality. My eyes shot open to see the Joker, shirtless, looming over me. "Look at me," he mumbled gruffly. "Look at me." He forced my legs apart and put all his lower weight on me so I couldn't close them. Then he reached for my wrists. I began flailing and whimpering, not wanting this to happen. But, again, he was _so strong_. He finally caught my hands and slammed them onto the bed. I knew this was really going to happen. The Joker thrust into me way too hard. It seemed to last forever. He kept moving above me, nails digging painfully into my wrists. This was by far the worst experience of my life. It was sex. This was supposed to be fun, but it wasn't. It was painful and scary and humiliating. I felt like I was falling down into black nothingness. When he finally finished, he rolled off of me and I heard him zip his pants back up. I reached down and pulled the sheet up to cover myself. I was shaking as I realized that there was no feeling whatsoever that the Joker had for me. He really didn't care what happened to me. I was an object, a prize to him. And while I had known this deep down, I had been silently praying that he really did still love me. Now I was without any kind I hope of having both Spencer and I survive.

_Now I know there was that one moment that seemed really out of character for the Joker when he was telling Marissa how much she meant to him, but I wanted to show how desperately obsessed with Marissa he is. And I mean, he raped her then, so he still upheld his tough guy reputation. Let me know what you guys think! :)_


	17. Chapter 17

_Hello again! I've had so much time to write over Christmas break, so here it another chapter. I had a lot of fun writing this, so hopefully you guys all like it too!_

I lay curled in a ball on my side in the giant bed. The sheet twisted around my naked body. I was both mentally and physically drained and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep in my own bed. Not this tainted one that I had just been raped in. God. I never thought that would actually happen to me. I had been _raped._ I felt the bed move next to me, followed by a pair of arms snaking around my waist. I literally wanted to throw up. That is how much he disgusted me. He rested his face between my neck and shoulder, running his lips against my skin.

"Now was that so bad?" the Joker asked while he trailed gentle kisses down my neck. "Hmm? You used to enjoy it." I didn't answer him. My emotions were a mess. Even if I could make my voice work, I don't know what I would have said to him. "I have waited _so long _to have you again. I missed that," he said, smirking. He placed one more kiss on my jaw line, then lay back down. A few minutes later I heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep.

When I had lived with the Joker before, I used to love to watch him sleep. It fascinated me to see how innocent and peaceful he could be, because he was usually so violent and energetic. Now, I was so disgusted I couldn't even look at him. Even his hand resting on my waist was making me sick. It was really late though, at least two o'clock in the morning. I couldn't fight sleep anymore, and quickly gave into unconsciousness.

* * *

I woke up late the next morning along in bed. Not an unusual thing that occurred between the Joker and I. I tried to push my uneasiness of just being raped aside and my mind immediately went to Spencer. I realized that my clothes were all shredded. _Great, what the Hell do I do now? _My eyes fell on the dresser on the other side of the room. I got out of bed and success! It was full of my clothes that the Joker's henchmen had brought. I desperately wanted to take a shower after last night's events, but right now, my son needed me. I quickly got dressed, wanting to get to Spencer as quickly as possible. I grabbed the door handle and turned it. It didn't open. It just jiggled in my hand. That bastard had locked me in. I tugged at the door for a few minutes before I gave up. I did, however, press my ear to the door and listen for any possible danger in the hall. Nothing.

I sighed, frustrated and turned around. I surveyed the room again, this time more in depth. Absolutely nothing useful. I searched the bathroom. Again, it was empty. I decided to take a shower, since I couldn't do anything else. When I finished, I heard the door open. I hurried into the bedroom, hoping it was someone I might be able to take down and get past. Yeah, not likely.

It was the Joker. "Goooood morning beau-_t_-ful," he said cheerily. Bastard.

"I want to see Spencer," I demanded, getting straight to the point.

"Yes, it's nice to see you too. *Sigh* Well, you can't," the Joker replied.

"What? You said-"

"I said nothing, sweetness. I told you that you were staying with me. That's it. I never promised you anything."

"Damn it, Joker, I'm not playing your fucking games! Give me my son!"

"Feisty, are we? He's my son too, if I recall. And talk to me like that again and pretty soon I"ll be a single father."

What the Hell do you want from me? Why am I here? If you're going to kill me just do it!" The Joker crossed the room in two steps. He grabbed my throat and slammed me back into the wall. His face was inches form mine.

"_Do not talk to me like that. _I'd rather not hurt you, but if I have to I will," he said. He stared at me for a _long_ time. Finally, he let go and took a step back. "Now, are we ready to behave like an adult?" he asked me. I huffed angrily.

"Yes," I said at last.

"Good!" he said and walked over to the bed. He sat down on the edge of it and looked at me expectantly. I glanced around the room and crossed my arms nervously.

"So…?" I said, confused. The Joker shrugged.

"I haven't seen you in six years. Come talk to me. I wanna know what's uh, happened to you," he said. Well this was unexpected. I didn't move.

"Really? This is coming from the man who kidnapped and raped me last night," I said incredulously.

"Well if you don't wanna talk we could fuck again."

"No! Talking is good!" I said and hurried over to the bed. I made it very obvious that I was sitting as far away from him as possible though. I leaned back against the headboard while he was on the end of the bed. We glared at each other from across the length of the bed. Finally he spoke first.

"Why do you keep calling me 'Joker,'" he asked.

"Because you are not the person I loved. Any human left in you has been replaced by the Joker. He is a monster and I refuse to refer to you as anything other than that," I said haughtily. We glared at each other for a few more seconds. He wasn't attacking me, so I assumed he was just going to accept that answer for the moment.

"How did you find me?" I spat out.

"Easy, I'm the fucking Joker, you're a little girl. Next question," the Joker spat right back.

"Oh no, that's not good enough. It took you six years to find me. Either you didn't care for a while or you gave up at some point," I pressed.

"Fine, I gave up for a while. Then you came to New York, which you know is right next to Gotham. One of my guys saw you two weeks ago and then all I had to do was track down where you were staying," the Joker said egotistically. "By the way, why did you pick Winchester?"

"It's the last name of these characters on my favorite show. I almost changed my first name too. I was gonna be Roxi Winchester, but I thought it might be a little much," I retorted, still glaring at him. He laughed at me.

"Roxi, huh?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, at least I picked an actual name, not an adjective." I don't know why I was being so argumentative. "And _by the way_," I mocked. "Did you catch the Batman yet?"

"I never wanted to catch him, I wanted to break him. And, yes, he was a lot of fun to mess with. I killed his girlfriend and turned the city's DA into, as you like to call _me_, a monster," the Joker said sarcastically back at me.

"I've been going to college to become a psychologist to put away creeps like you," I smirked.

"Oh that's nice princess."

"I thought you would think so."

"Tell me about Spencer," the Joker said suddenly. I hesitated.

"Um, he's five now," I said cautiously, not knowing how much I should tell him about his son. But then the Joker nodded silently and scooted closer to me on the bed, waiting for more. "He started school this year. He's smart. He's not a nerd though, he's really good at sports too. Or, well, as good as a five year old can be," I rambled. Missing Spencer made me want to talk about him. "And he likes dolphins."

"Is he a good kid?" the Joker asked. I couldn't believe he actually cared about this.

"Yeah. Yeah he's a really great kid," I said. It was moments like these that made me think that there really was a human somewhere inside the Joker. He was legitimately interested in his son's life. Or else he was making a really good show of it. We were quiet for a few minutes. It was kind of awkward. Neither of us knew what to say anymore. Finally the Joker sighed and got up off the bed.

"Well I'll see you later toots. Daddy's got some business to take care of," he said as he headed towards the door. I scrambled to the end of the bed.

"Wait! When do I get to see Spencer?" I asked. The Joker turned around and looked at me like he had bad news.

"I know you wanna see you're precious baby boy, but I'm afraid that's not gonna be, uh, happening yet sweetheart," he said in mock regret.

"You've got to be kidding me! After you just sat here and talked to me for an hour!" I raised my voice. He rolled his eyes.

"Look sugar, you'll see your son again… if you play my little game," he said slyly. I was off the bed now.

"Give me Spencer. Please, he's scared. He needs me! Has anyone even taken care of him since he's been here?" I was getting worked up.

"Shut your fucking mouth and just listen for once!" he yelled. This made me silent. He started slowly pacing the room. "Alright. We're going to play…a game. I'm going to keep you as far away from any human contact other than me as I can. And you know I can do anything I want, so that won't be hard for me. Now if you want to be able to see Spencer-or anyone else for that matter- you're going to have to play by my _one _little rule." I swallowed hard.

"Which is?" He stared at me with a proud little smirk on his face, like he knew something really awesome and he wasn't going to tell anybody without a price.

"I want you to love me again," he stated simply.

"Fine. I love you. Now let me see my son." He laughed at this.

"Oh no, it's not that simple princess! I want you to mean it."

"I do mean it!"

"No you don't."

"How do you know?"

He stepped over to me and gripped my hips, bringing me against his body. He gazed down at me with a look that used to make me rip my clothes off and give myself to him.

"Because I remember the way it used to be. And whether you want to admit it or not, you loved me. You _worshipped_ me," he said in husky voice.

He was right. I had loved him like there was no tomorrow. Now he was using it against me. I had no way to win. I could never, ever love this man again, not after what he had done to me.

"How am I supposed to make myself feel something? Huh? Explain that part of the game to me. You think you can just take my son from me and I'll love you again! Well sorry to break it to you buddy, but that's not exactly how one goes about wooing a girl!" I was pissed. This was bullshit.

"If you ever want to leave this room you'll find a way," he said happily. He untangled himself from me. And started to leave again. I walked after him.

"Give me my son, Joker!" I said as he opened the door. I lunged at it, but he closed it too quickly, trapping me inside once again. "Damn it let me out!"

Nobody came to let me out.

_Looooong chapter. Let me know what y'all think._


	18. Chapter 18

_Hey guys, here is another chapter. It's kind of just a filler, but the next chapter is action packed!_

I had been sitting in that God damned room for three days. I was so bored and the only the only thing to occupy me was my thoughts and the Joker. Neither were things I wanted to deal with. Whenever the Joker wasn't in the bedroom my mind immediately went to Spencer and Nick. I was desperately worried about Spencer all alone in that room, so close to me, but I couldn't get to him. I felt guilty about Nick's death. It was my fault. I never should have let such a wonderful man get close to me.

Things weren't much better when the Joker was with me either. He would come to see me sometime during the day and just talk to me. That or torment me with the gory details of his latest exploits, which he knew I never wanted to hear about. Then he would come back really late at night to go to bed. Of course, he didn't go to sleep every night. He _was_ the Joker after all and he had plenty of late night scandals to keep him occupied. I never understood how that man was able to create such elaborate plans on such little sleep.

The first time the Joker spent the night with me was on the third night of our "game." I had just put on a black tank top and pink and black shorts to sleep in. I jumped when he opened the door.

"Gooood evening," he said. "Did you miss me doll?"

"Oh yes! It's been so terrible without you! You're my everything!" I whimpered, trying to be serious.

"Nope, not feelin' it. You're gonna have to be more convincing than that," he responded as he took off his purple trench coat. _Oh please God, let that be all he takes off. _I scampered over to the bed. Just having him in the same room with me made me want to move quickly and get out of his way. I crawled under the covers on the right side of the bed. The Joker sat down o the edge of it with his back to me and took off his shoes. Apparently God was busy right now.

"Tell me sweetheart: are you going insane without your son yet? Have you been driven over the edge? Is it just _unbearable_?" he provoked me.

"Please stop," was all I said. I didn't feel like playing games tonight, or any night for that matter. Now he was taking off his tie.

"Ooo, did I strike a nerve there?" he continued.

"Please? I have a monster headache and I really don't want to think of good comebacks anymore."

"Sweetheart, you were never good at comebacks." Now he was taking off his vest. "But I guess I'll be generous tonight…"

"Thank you," I said.

"Oh, but I'm not leaving. I'm still gonna play with you," he giggled. BAM! There went his shirt onto the floor. Why? Why was this happening to me? Luckily he had a t-shirt on underneath. _Thanks God, but you were a little late._ I closed my eyes and slid down further into the blankets. I felt the bed dip next to me. Right next to me. My eyes flew open to see the Joker propped up on his elbow staring down at me.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Now is that any way to talk to the man you have to fall in love with in order to gain your freedom?" he asked. He was right. I had to at least pretend for Spencer. I had to swallow my pride and dignity.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"That's my girl," he murmured. He scooted closer to me, just staring. So I stared back. He still had on all his Joker make-up. It had taken a long time for him to let me see him without it, and after so many years apart, I figured we were back at square one. His hand slowly reached out and touched my face. "You're gorgeous," he mumbled as he touched my cheek. You know that?" His hand skimmed down over my chin, down my neck. His fingers lightly glided onto my chest. His eyes followed his hand. I sharply drew a breath and turned my head away when his hand squeezed by right breast. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his eyes shoot back to my face and he withdrew his hand. "Sorry," he grumbled, sounding a little kid being forced to apologize for something. I raised my hand to my face, trying to cover up how nervous that had made me. The Joker grabbed my hand. Oh shit. I still had my engagement ring on.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Umm…it's uh…it's just a ring. That I got from…a friend." So much for becoming such an awesome liar.

"This is an engagement ring. You were gonna marry Romeo?" he asked me. I closed my eyes and waited for his rage to take over. I waited. And waited. But nothing happened. I opened my eyes and saw that he wasn't actually fuming with anger. I actually had no idea what his expression meant. He wasn't looking at me, but at the ring. He looked confused.

"Um…yeah," I answered. The Joker didn't say anything; he just gently removed the ring from my finger. While this upset me greatly, I was already walking a very thin line that I didn't want to cross. He rolled the ring around in his hand.

"Huh," he contemplated. This was the last way I expected him to react. I had totally expected rage, fury, a couple smacks across the face. Instead, he leaned over to the other side of the bed and put the ring in a drawer in the nightstand. He rolled back over into the bed and closed his eyes. That was it. We went to sleep.

While I felt amazed that the Joker hadn't gotten furious at me, I still knew that he was a mass murderer and might change his reaction over this later. He had kidnapped my son and I, raped me, and killed my fiancé. I could never forgive him. Not to mention, I didn't trust him at all. I was no closer to loving him then I was before.

_There we go, chapter eighteen! Like I said, this was just sort of a filler chapter to show how the "game" between Marissa and the Joker is progressing. Thanks for reading guys!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Hello everybody! Marissa gets a little desperate in this chapter. Major violence!_

Did mention that I will never, ever be able to love the Joker again? Yeah well that was causing me serious problems when it came to wanting to get out of his fricken' room. It had been two weeks. TWO WEEKS! And I was no closer to freedom than I was when I got here. I was becoming desperate in my attempts to convince the Joker that I loved him. Last week, I had even gone as far as to offer my body up to him. When he came to see me that day, I was wearing nothing but very revealing lingerie and black high heels.

I strutted up to him. "Take me, I'm yours," I said sexily. He looked me up and down.

"A tempting offer beautiful, but I'm just not feeling the love," he said as he shook his head. I wasn't giving up yet. I pushed my nausea aside and closed the gap between us. I ran my hand up his chest.

"Oh come on. If I didn't love you do you really think I'd be standing here practically naked? I want you Joker. I can't hide it anymore," I said seductively.

"You want me, do you?" he asked. I nodded, biting my lip. The Joker pushed me backwards onto the bed and got on top of me. He kissed and bit my neck. I was afraid I might hit this slight snag in my plan. It was a sacrifice I would have to make. "Is this what you want?" he asked breathlessly.

"Mm-hm," I answered. He went back to giving me hickey's for a few minutes before he withdrew again.

"What about this?" Before I could stop him, he slid his hand into my skimpy panties and shoved a finger inside me. I gasped out of surprise. I couldn't answer him.

"Ah, you see, I knew you didn't mean it," he said proudly and withdrew his finger. "But you put on one Hell of a show." He got off of me and went into the bathroom, leaving me disappointed with yet another failed plan.

I was getting a little crazy. How long could I possibly survive in one room? I hadn't seen daylight or another human being in fourteen days. I was going mad with worry about Spencer. The Joker wouldn't even tell me if he was alright. No matter how many times I told the Joker I loved him, he knew I was lying. I began to realize that I would never see Spencer again. I was going to spend the rest of my life-which would be a long time, considering I was only twenty two-locked in this one room. Spencer would never get to have any life at all! If he was even still alive. Oh my God, I hadn't thought of that! Spencer might not even be alive anymore! I had to get out. I would stop at nothing until I saw my son again and made sure that he was okay.

I decided that the first step was opening the door. Yeah, it sounds like a dumb first move, but it was the first thing standing between me and escape. I couldn't see any way to pick the lock. And I didn't really have the brute force to kick the door in, although I tried it anyway. I lugged one of the end tables over to the door and heaved it up on my shoulder. I threw it at the door with everything I had. I was slightly pleased at the large scratch it made, but the door didn't budge. I spent hours in front of that door. Then I got an idea. The Joker came to see me every day. He opened the door. If I waited right next to it all day, then maybe I could catch him off guard and get out of the room, at least long enough to call out to Spencer and hope for a response from him.

So I waited. _All day long._ Finally, at around three in the afternoon, opportunity had arisen. The second the door handle moved I grabbed onto it and whipped it open. The next part of my plan had been to slip past the Joker before he could catch me. That part didn't go so well.

He jumped right in front of me and I collided into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and started forcing me back into the room. But this was the farthest I had gotten in weeks, so I kept on struggling. "Spencer!" I screamed. "Spencer!" He had shoved me almost back into the room. "Spencer!" I tried one more time.

"Mommy!" I heard faintly from down the hall. My heart soared. He was alive!

"Spencer! Mommy's coming baby!" I shouted, offering what little comfort I could from so far away. The Joker finally wrestled me into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him. His hand flew out and grabbed my throat, squeezing tightly.

"You broke the rules. You're gonna have to pay for that," he said. He dragged me across the room and literally threw me on the bed. He reached into his pocket and whipped out a knife so fast I didn't have time to think. I tried to get away from him, but he had a firm hold on my ankle. He yanked me back across the bed with one hand and held the knife in my face. "Let's put a smile on that face," he said in a strangely deep voice. His need to intimidate before he actually made a move gave me more time to think. I drew my free leg back with a good amount of force and kicked him in the center of his chest, knocking him backwards. I scrambled off the bed and ran to the bathroom, hoping to lock myself in before he got there. I did make it to the bathroom and shut the door. Then I realized that it didn't have a lock on it. I threw my body against the door while he pounded on the other side. "Open the door!" the Joker screamed.

"Why in _Hell_ would I do that?" I yelled back. Then the pounding stopped. I held my breath listening. WHAM! The door flew open and forced me into the opposite wall. The Joker had kicked it open. He was furious. He looked exactly like he had when he had caught me leaving the hideout six years ago.

I ran to the other side of the bathroom, trying to delay the now inevitable. "Oh no you don't, COME HERE!" he screamed in that unnatural deep voice of his. He grabbed my hair and pulled me back to the bedroom. He kicked me so hard in the back of the leg that I cried out in pain and immediately collapsed. He dropped down to his knees and straddled my hops. The knife was still in his hand. He brought it down to my bare arm and cut a long line. More cries of pain escaped me. He kept making painful cuts all over my arms. They were soon slick with blood. Then he pulled up my shirt and slid the side of the knife down my stomach, teasing me. I wriggled and squirmed against him. He pressed the knife slowly into my lower stomach. It was an extremely deep wound. I screamed. If he went much deeper, there was no way in Hell I'd survive. He seemed to know the same thing and pulled the knife out of me. The Joker pulled my shirt up further and made more deep cuts. He flipped me over underneath him and pushed my hair off my neck. I screamed in agony as white hot pain emanated from my neck. He was carving something into the back of my neck, but I didn't know what. I thought it was over when he lifted the blade away, but then I felt his lips latch onto the cut he had just made. He sucked up the blood that was pouring out of me. My throat ached from screaming. I dug my nails into the carpet. Then everything went back.

_Yep, he beat the shit out of her again. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter please!_


	20. Chapter 20

I woke up confused and surrounded by water. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was in a bathtub, but I was too disoriented to question it. I could feel that my hair was tied up in a sloppy ponytail and someone's hand was gently, but firmly holding my head up. I grimaced at the intense pain pulsing through my body. Someone, the same someone who was holding my neck, was carefully washing my body. Again, I was a little weirded out by out by it, but I was too tired to open my eyes, let alone form words to inquire who the person was. The person started rubbing their soapy hand over the huge cut on my stomach. I groaned in protest. The hand stopped and came up to my face, stroking my cheek soothingly. "Shhhhhh," they whispered. I relaxed again and let the person go back to cleaning the dried blood off of me.

Finally, I found the strength to open my eyes just barely. I freaked out. There was the Joker, kneeling beside the tub, washing my naked body. I gasped. "No! No, stay away from me! Please, no more, no more," I begged as I tried to get away from him. The water sloshed out of the tub as I pathetically tried to shove him away. It was useless. I had lost so much blood I could barely stay awake. Tears streamed down my face. I was defenseless.

"Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt ya anymore," the Joker said. He leaned further over the tub and held me still. "Relax, Em." I slowed my breathing down, which only caused the shaking of my body to be more noticeable. "Good girl." He reached down to the other end of the tub and pulled the plug to let the water drain out. I shook harder when I fully realized that I WAS NAKED! I whimpered in fear and tried to cover myself, but I couldn't even hold my arms up. The Joker gently pushed my arms back down into the soapy water. "There's nothing I haven't' already seen Em," he said. In my current state of exhaustion, that sounded like a pretty good point to make.

When the water had completely drained, the Joker grabbed a towel and climbed in the tub with me. He was barefoot and his sleeves were rolled up, revealing his muscular arms. He stood with a leg on either side of me and bent down to dry me off as best he could. If I wasn't so scared, I would have laughed at seeing the big bad Joker fumbling to dry off a naked chick. He pulled me up into a sitting position and rested me against his leg. He grumbled to himself as he struggled to keep me upright. He wrapped the towel around me, then picked me up bridal style and got out of the tub. I moaned as pain shot through me from being moved. "Almost done," the Joker said. He laid me on the bed. I glanced down at my arms to see that most of the cuts had clotted and weren't bleeding anymore. The Joker lifted one my arms and started wrapping a long bandage around it. He did the same to the other. When he finished, he put his hands lightly on my stomach. He looked me in the eye. "I gotta check something okay? Then I'm done," he said. He seemed to be asking permission to see my naked body again. I nodded after a couple seconds.

He separated the two halves of the towel. Now I saw that he had neatly stitched my gaping stomach wound closed. Why was he going through all this trouble for me? He placed another bandage on my stomach. As he had promised, he covered me once again. I was still shaking like a leaf, no doubt to the extreme blood loss. He noticed this and shifted me around until he had worked the blankets out from under me. I was shocked at how gentle he was being with me. I mean, he was the one who had done this to me. He pulled the blankets to cover me up. My shock increased when he sat down next to me. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I don't like hurting you Em." His voice was so quiet, like he actually felt remorse. "But I don't know what else to do." He didn't look at me while he said any of this; he was just staring off in space. Then he sighed again and looked down at me. "You should get some sleep," he said and went back into the bathroom. I watched him go, then I blissfully gave into the darkness.

_I know this chapter may have been kind of weird, but I thought it was about time that the Joker was nice to Marissa. He does claim to love her and I wanted this chapter to show that he does care about her, he just doesn't often show it, and that he does feel some guilt for hurting her so badly. Let me know what you guys think!_


	21. Chapter 21

_I'm uploading another chapter today because I have a lot of stuff already written and the last chapter was really short! If the second half of this chapter seems jumpy or random it's because Marissa has gone somehwhat crazy after that last beating. So here we go!_

It had been an entire day and the Joker still hadn't come to see me again. He had left a bottle of pain killers next to the bed, however. I was still really weak and sore. Even worse than that, I felt really mentally unstable. I flinched at everything all day, which is usually a hard thing to do when you're locked in a room by yourself. And I continuously thought about the danger in everything. That morning, I was so scared I couldn't even get out of bed because I was afraid the Joker might get furious at me again. Not that I really could move much anyway because I was so beat up.

He finally came to see me late that night. I was sitting in bed flipping through a magazine I had found in the nightstand. I immediately tensed up when he entered the room. "Evening, doll face," he said. I swallowed hard. He was going to hurt me. I just knew it. Or rape me again. Or both!

He sauntered over to the bed and stood next to me. I jumped when he reached his hand out… to the nightstand. He gave me an odd look, but must have thought it was nothing. He fiddled with the bottle of pain killers he had left. "Did these help any?" he asked. I forced a nod. Any second now. Any second he would snap. He started undressing to go to bed. He was going to rape me. I just knew it! That's all he wanted from me. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down as my thoughts of horrible things he could do to me became more vivid. "Are you alright sweetness?" I opened my eyes again.

"Yeah fine," I choked out. He looked at me strangely again and walked around to the side of the bed I wasn't laying in. No. I couldn't let him be that close to me. I heard pounding in my ears, my own blood pounding so loud I could hear it. I had never been so petrified in my life.

Are you sure? Cause you don't look fine," he said, but I only heard him distantly. My breathing picked up. Stop Marissa. He hadn't done anything yet, you're fine. But you could never tell with the Joker!

I had to get away from him. I slid out of the bed, deciding to retreat to the bathroom. My weak legs hit the floor and I winced, unsure if I could move. The leg the Joker had kicked screamed in pain. Slowly, I limped to the bathroom.

"Em, what's wrong with you?" the Joker asked.

"Nothing, just going to the bathroom," I said nervously. There! I was safe in the bathroom. I leaned against the sink for support. That's when I noticed another bandage on the back of my neck. I had completely forgotten that he had cut me there yesterday. Carefully I pulled the bandage off. It was difficult, but eventually I got myself at an angle where I could see. There, on the back of my neck, was a 'J.' I clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle my gasp. "Oh my God. Oh my God," I said horrified, and backed away from the mirror. The Joker opened the door. (Okay, seriously, what if I had actually been using the bathroom?) I backed up against the wall shaking my head. "stay away from me," I said more strongly than I felt.

"Princess I'm done hurting you. You can relax now," he said as he made his way towards me.

"No!" I cried. "Please don't tough me. Just get away!" He kept coming closer.

"Geez, are you really afraid of me?" he asked. He didn't seem to understand that I was really terrified of him now. I began to hyperventilate. "Ah-ta-ta! Don't pass out on me! Em!" I slid down the wall while everything became blurry. The last thing I saw before I fainted was the Joker kneeling down in front of me.

* * *

I woke up alone in bed. My eyes flew open and darted around the room. The walls seemed like they were closing in at every angle. It was like the air was being sucked out of the room. It was dead silent, other than my heavy breathing, but it was killing me. Even the silence was too loud, creating a ringing in my ears. I ran to the door, needing to get out. I needed to get to Spencer. That crazy clown would surely kill him. What was going on? Why wouldn't this God damn door open? Surely if I didn't get out of this room soon the walls would crush me. I distantly heard someone screaming. Oh my God, who was screaming? Wait, was I screaming? The pressure in my ears was building so much I couldn't even tell that it was my own voice shrieking at that incredible volume.

I yanked and ripped at the door with everything I had in me. I screamed in hysterics. "Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!" I yelled. I started kicking and clawing at the door. I was going to die. If I didn't get out of this room and get to Spencer I was literally going to lose what was left of my mind. 'Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! SPENCER!" I screamed. I don't know how long I went on screaming until the door swung open, hitting me in the process. I lunged at whoever had opened it. It was the Joker. He didn't say anything, just tried to grab onto me. I continued to scream and struggle. He finally wrestled me to a sitting position on the floor against a wall.

"Hey, hey, hey! Shhh, you're alright," he said soothingly. My screams turned to sobs. "Calm down baby, breathe. What's wrong? Huh? Uh, what do you need?" he asked. When I didn't respond he drew me to his chest and held onto me, gently rubbing my back. I opened my mouth, but I just kept crying. Finally, someone trying to help me and I couldn't form words. I didn't even care that it was the Joker. I just wanted someone to take care of me. My chest ached and I could barely breathe. I was gasping and choking for air. "Shh, shh shh, you're okay. You're okay. I got you," the Joker kept murmuring to me. He brushed hair out of my face and rocked me back and forth. "What do you need sweetheart?" he asked again.

"Spencer. I need Spencer," I gasped.

"To my astonishment, the Joker said "Okay," and picked me up. He carried me out of the room and down the hall to Spencer's room. He set me on the ground so he could get out the necessary key, but kept a firm grasp on my waist to keep me upright. He unlocked the door. I flew into that room, despite the intense pain radiating through my body.

"Mom!" Spencer yelled happily. I couldn't even speak. I ran to him and dropped to my knees, hugging him tightly. I was still sobbing heavily. "Mommy, why did you go away for so long?" I grabbed the back of his head, smoothing out his hair.

I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I got you into this," I said, still bawling. I knew the Joker was still standing in the doorway, but I didn't care. I had never been away from Spencer for more than a day. "Are you okay Spence?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I missed you! Can we go home now? I wanna talk to Aunt Janie and Uncle Kevin."

"I'm sorry baby, we can't go home yet. Has anyone taken care of you? What have you been doing all this time?"

"Playing with J. I don't know why you're so mad at him Mommy, he's funny."

"That's good." I was not happy that the Joker had been anywhere near my son, but at least he hadn't scared him.

"Yeah. I was crying cause I was scared, but he made me feel better. But you're here now, so you can stay with me and I don't have to be scared anymore."

"I'm gonna stay as long as I can," I whispered.

"You're spending the night in here with Spencer, doll face," the Joker said from the doorway. I turned my head around to look at him.

"Thank you," I mouthed silently. He nodded and quietly closed the door. It was already really late at night and I could tell Spencer was sleepy. I let him stay up and talk for a while, but when he started yawning every few minutes I decided we should go to bed. I was exhausted too.

"I think you need to go to bed little dude," I said eventually.

"Are you staying with me?" he asked. I smiled.

"Yes! We're gonna have a sleepover," I said.

"Yay! I don't like this room as much as my room at home." I got us both situated in the little bed. He kept telling me all about what had been happening to him. I was relieved that he hadn't been as traumatized as I had, but I was a little uneasy at how he referred to the Joker admiringly. Soon he fell asleep. I lay awake, protectively watching over him, until I couldn't fight sleep anymore.

_Yay! Marissa has her son back! The Joker didn't even make her win the game in order to see Spencer again, but she is still terrified of him. Don't worry, I'm not going to make the Joker change into some softie, but I wanted to show that he really does care about Marissa even though he is evil. Please review and let me know what you all think!_


	22. Chapter 22

_Next Chapter! _

I spent the rest of the next two days with Spencer. Then the Joker came for me. I was sitting on the floor playing a board game with Spencer when the door opened. The Joker strolled in happily. "Gooood evening family!" he exclaimed. I straightened up slowly, fully feeling the fact that this _was_ my family, technically.

I shook myself back to reality. "Hi Jay!" Spencer replied just as happily. I watched, conflicted, as the Joker came over and tousled Spencer's hair. On one hand, I wanted to attack the Joker for touching my son. On the other, I was still slightly terrified of him and wanted to run away. But he _had _taken care of me then…

My indecisiveness caused me to just sit and silently watch the two converse. "How you doing buddy? You have fun seeing your mom?" the Joker asked. Spencer nodded enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh! Can Mommy stay with me every day?" he asked. The Joker glanced at me.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," the Joker said. I felt hope rise up in me. "But do you mind if your mom stays with me tonight? I miss her too, ya know." The hope resided slightly.

"Okay. But you guys'll still come play with me everyday right?" Spencer asked.

"Of course," the Joker and I said in unison. We looked at each other and I felt myself smile a little. I realized what I was doing and quickly looked down. The Joker grinned and looked at Spencer again.

"You should get to sleep Spence, it's late!" the Joker said. He picked Spencer up off the floor and carried him to his bed. They both looked like this was something they were used to. I stood up while the Joker tucked Spencer in bed.

"Night Mommy!" he called. I walked up next to the Joker.

"Night baby," I said as I kissed Spencer's forehead.

"Night Jay," he said.

"Night buddy. Sleep tight!" the Joker replied. I followed the Joker out of the room, down the hall, and into the God forsaken room I had finally escaped. I shut the door quietly behind us. The Joker took his trench coat off as I awkwardly stood by the door. He leapt up onto the bed and crossed his legs, getting comfortable. He looked up at me.

"Well are you gonna stand there all night or what?" he asked. I quickly sidestepped to the dresser and grabbed some pajamas out. Then I retreated to the bathroom, hoping I was making myself look occupied, when I was really trying to put distance between myself and the Joker. I changed clothes, making the task take much longer than it should have. I stood in front of the door. _You have to leave the bathroom at some point Marissa. _I thought to myself. _Just open the door and leave. You can do it, girl. Come on!_ Just then I heard a heavy sigh on the other side of the door. _Oh shit_. The Joker knocked on the door. I reached out and opened it, making it obvious that I had been standing just on the other side. The Joker was standing there, arms crossed, with an expression that said "Really Em, you've been standing in the bathroom for fifteen minutes?"

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Really Em, you've been standing in the bathroom for fifteen minutes?" he asked. _Whoa, I'm good. _

"Uhhhhh, yeah I guess so," I replied. His head was tilted down so he had to avert his eyes upward to see me. There was a long pause. A _very_ long pause.

"And why have you been standing in the bathroom for fifteen minutes?" he asked me finally.

"Uhhh, I don't really know. I mean, um, just taking care of things, ya know? Pajamas, make-up, teeth…"

"Are you avoiding me?" the Joker interrupted.

"Yes," I answered immediately.

"Doll face you don't have to be afraid of me anymore."

"I don't?"

"No." This was followed by another looong pause.

"Can I get some kind of proof of this?" I asked.

"You don't need it," he took a step towards me. His voice lowered to one that sounded almost human. "I meant what I said. I'm done hurting you."

"I opened my mouth but no sound came out. Were we really having this conversation? He sounded like he really meant it. And that look in his eyes reminded me of how he used to be before he went all psycho-killer…

"Remember. I'm a man of my word. There's your proof," he said, then took a step back. "Now are you coming to bed, or not?" I shook myself out of the trance he had me in and nodded. I wasn't going to lower my guard, but I would play along to stay on his good side. I turned the bathroom light off and followed him to the bed. Once we both lay down, it was really weird. Neither of us said anything, but it was obvious that neither of us was going to sleep. And the light was still on. One of us was going to have to look really stupid and get up to turn the light off. Right as I had this thought, the Joker raised his arms straight in the air and clapped twice. The lights shut off.

"Dude that was awesome," I said plainly. I turned my head to look at him lying next to me. He chuckled and clapped again, this time turning the lights back on. I reached up and clapped.

"I was really afraid one of us was gonna have to go turn the light off, then I remembered this," the Joker said.

"Me too! When did you get these?" I asked incredulously.

"Couple days ago. Pretty cool right?

"Uh, duh! I've always wanted clappy lights."

"Clappy lights?"

"Whatever." We both laughed. Wait what am I doing? Laughing and playing around with the Joker?

_Oh no, Marissa is goofing around with the Joker! She is still afraid of him, but after he took care of her **so **sweetly and he is going to let her be with Spencer every day, she is somewhat letting her guard down. I'm probably going to be updating again tomorrow or the next day, so you guys won't have to wait long to see what happens next. :)_


	23. Chapter 23

_Oh my God, I did not intend for this chapter to be this long. It just didn't stop. There was no stopping point, things just kept popping into my head that I wanted to happen and I couldn't stop! I have been waiting for this part to happen for awhile and I like the way things worked out. Hope you all like it!_

"Ha! Take that Spence!" I shouted as I popped above the fort I had made out of pillows and cardboard boxes from around the warehouse and sent a dozen Nerf bullets at my son. Let's just get one thing straight. I am very strongly against guns and war. But Nerf guns are awesome. Spencer and I had turned his room into a battle zone and were attacking each other with everything we had. Granted, I was holding back a little because a twenty-two year old taking on a five year old isn't exactly a fair fight. It was still extremely fun.

"Mwahaha! It doesn't matter Mommy cause I have special armor!" Spencer said dramatically as he emerged from his own shelter. I dropped to the floor in hysterics. Spencer had put the lamp shade on his head like a helmet. That wasn't even the funniest part. He had also taken the plastic casing that the Nerf guns had come in and used the tape still stuck on the box to attach it to his shirt. All the bullets I had just fired at him stuck straight out. It was ridiculous looking. "Take _that_ Mommy."

That made me laugh even harder! "Oh God, Spence, you look awesome!" I laughed. Someone knocked on the door just then. It opened without waiting for a reply. It was…as usual…the Joker.

"Hellooooo," he said. Spencer turned on the Joker instead of me.

"BAM BAM BAM!" he yelled. The little foam bullets pelted the Joker.

"Ahh! Ya got me!" the Joker yelled as he sank to the floor pretending to be dying. Spencer sprang out from behind his fort and jumped practically on top of the Joker.

"Wait! I changed my mind! You aren't dead, you can be on my team cuz I need help," Spencer said excitedly.

"Why do you need help?" the Joker asked.

"Cuz Mommy's way better than me and you can be on my team and then I can win," Spencer rambled. The Joker glanced over at me with a mischievous grin. He flipped himself over so that he could stand up.

"You make a good point my friend! This would definitely be a fair fight if I was on your team," the Joker said.

"Ugh! No, this is not a fair fight. I want someone on my team! I'm outnumbered!" I cried.

"But you're so _good_ doll face, and Spencer and I combined are just as good as you," the Joker said.

"Well you guys suck," I pretended to whine. "Alright. Commence battle!"

So we spent the next hour or so pulverizing each other with Nerf guns. At eight thirty I decided it was time to stop and put Spencer to bed. "Well that was fun," the Joker said as we walked down the hall to our bedroom. "And Spencer and I totally won by the way."

"What? You wish you were as awesome as me," I retorted. It had been two weeks since I had gone a little crazy and had my nervous breakdown. Things hadn't been that bad during that time. Pleasant, actually. Take last week for example.

* * *

**Flashback**

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," I said as I clumsily unwrapped the bandage around my left arm. The cuts on my arms had started bleeding again when I had attacked the door in my attempt to escape the bedroom a few days ago. I knew I should have changed the bandages days ago, but I hadn't had any opportunity. Just then the Joker walked into the room. I glanced over at him. "Whaz up," I said to fill the silence.

"Nothin much," the Joker said. He picked up a chair that was leaning against the wall and sat down on it in front of me. "Here," he mumbled as he took my arm and began undoing the bandage himself. I flinched a little, but he held onto my wrist, keeping my arm in place.

"Thanks," I said softly.

"Not a problem," he replied. "How's it feeling?"

"Fine. Just started bleeding again, so I figured I should change these," I said like I hadn't acquired these cuts from him. He nodded without looking up from my arm. A few moments passed before he spoke again. He suddenly grinned.

"Spencer said the funniest thing today. We were, uh, talking about movies he like_d _and when we got to Lord of the Rings he said he didn't like that the characters had such hard names. Then he said 'I only like Legolas because I remember that his name has Lego, but he doesn't have any legos, so he's always lego-less.' It was funny," he told me as he finished wrapping up one arm.

"That's adorable! I can't believe he thought of that!" I said while the Joker moved to my other arm. "Wait a minute, when did he watch Lord of the Rings? He's only five!" I said more to myself. The Joker laughed.

"Looks like you need a new babysitter, huh sweetness?" he chuckled.

"Apparently so," I replied, my mind immediately going to Kevin, the only one who would let him watch that. But honestly I didn't really care. I was too entranced by the Joker. He was being so gentle and funny right now, like he used to be…

"OW!" I yelled as I was taken out of my trance. I looked down to see one of my cuts starting to bleed again because the Joker had scraped away some of the dried blood. So much for gentle.

"Oops, didn't think that was gonna happen," he said as he pressed a bandage down on the open cut. The sudden pain he accidentally inflicted on me brought back memories of when he had intentionally hurt me. I began to shake slightly against my own will, hoping that he wouldn't notice…he did.

To my shock, he slid his hand from the bandages down into my hand and slowly rubbed his thumb back and forth in a soothing motion. "You're okay," he said without taking his eyes away from my arm. Just as quickly as he had made these motions, he seemed to realize what he was doing and stopped. He cleared his throat and I looked around the room feigning interest in the walls, both of us suddenly awkward. He finished wrapping my arm. We just sat there for a minute avoiding each other's eyes. When our eyes finally did meet they locked and it was like BAM! We were entranced. It was like a rush was created between us and we were in some weird vortex of our own and nothing else existed. I don't know how to describe it. That was a pretty crappy job. Let's just say it was _intense._ I felt like a weight was on my chest.. He looked away first.

"Um…," the Joker said, running his hands through his hair. I sucked in a breath, realizing that I had forgotten to breathe.

"Yeah… so thanks. For taking care of me, I mean," I said, trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, anytime sugar."

We were quiet for a few more seconds.

"You wanna go see Spencer?" the Joker asked.

"Yes!" I yelled, unable to contain myself. He grinned.

"Alrighty then."

**End Flashback**

* * *

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say princess," the Joker said as he shut the bedroom door behind us. He didn't lock it, I noticed. I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I took off one of my shirts so that I was only wearing a tank top. _God, I'm stupid, I should have brought pajamas in here awhile. _

As I was coming out of the bathroom, the Joker was going in. I gasped, surprised, as I collided into his chest gently. I immediately pulled away, but his hands shot out and grabbed my upper arms, holding me still against him. He gazed down at me with so much intensity I felt like he could see right through me. And you know what? I almost gave into him. The look in his eyes, the serious, passionate expression on his face, the firmness of his muscles… I forgot everything he ever did to me. Almost. "No. I can't do this," I said softly and pushed my way past him. He turned and followed me.

"But you want to," he said.

"No, I don't," I said firmly.

"Marissa, I know you feel it," he insisted.

"Feel what?" I asked, though I knew what he must be talking about.

"We're acting like we used to" the Joker said.

"So? That doesn't change anything. I can't love you, if that's what you think is going to happen. I'm in love with Nick," I said plainly. The Joker sighed, frustrated.

"That guys still? How long is it gonna take for you to get over him?" he asked.

"I will never be completely over him! He was the best person I've ever met! And even if I find someone else part of me will always love him!" I yelled. It was true. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Nick. Even though that wasn't possible now, I still loved him unconditionally. The Joker walked closer to me and reached out to touch me. I flinched out of his reach.

"You're still afraid of me," he said, shaking his head.

"Well, gee I wonder why," I said in a smart aleck tone.

"It's been two weeks Marissa!"

"No! It's been six years! I've been dealing with this for _six years._ I have had _no one_ for six years. I loved you! How could you do this to me? I gave up everything for you, everything! My family, my home, my friends, my entire life! And you still don't give a damn about me!" I screamed, letting out everything I had been keeping a secret for so much of my life.

"That's not true."

"Oh yea?"

"Yes, Em, I want you here! With me!"

"You can't want me that badly if you're willing to kill me!"

"I never once was going to kill you."

"Oh, so you just threatened me with no intention of actually following through."

"Yes."

"But you had no trouble raping me!"

"I couldn't help myself Marissa. I wanted to touch you again so badly you have no idea."

"That's bull shit!" I screamed. "You wanted to touch me again so badly you beat the shit out of me _again and again!_"

"em, I don't know if you've realized this, but I have some serious issues."

"You got that right!"

"And I'm working on fixing them!"

"You are sooo beyond the point of getting help!"

"I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry! You are one of the only two people I have ever apologized to, so you know I mean it!"

"Sorry? You're _sorry_? You've got to be kidding me if you think that's gonna make everything better!"

"Maybe you haven't noticed that I haven't hurt you in any way shape or form in the past two weeks. And I swear to God I'm never going to hurt you again!"

"How the Hell am I supposed to believe you, huh? Why can't you just let me go?"

"Fine! You wanna go? GO!"

"So you're seriously just gonna let me walk out the door and no one's gonna shoot me or attack me?"

"Yep! Have a nice life!"

I walked over to him and smacked him as hard as I could across the face. He kept his head turned away from me where the force of the blow had pushed it. He let out a shocked breath of air. "You make me sick. You killed the man I loved and traumatized my son, just so that you could play a little mind game with me. And now you're gonna let me go just like that?"

"Yeah."

"May I ask why?"

"Cause I love you." We stared at each other for a moment. I laughed sarcastically.

"That's just great. You love me. You don't treat someone like shit when you love them!"

"Em-"

"You don't torment people you love!"

"I'm so sorry sweetheart I-"

"I mean, it this how you would want to be treated!"

"No, I'm trying to make it better, I can fix this. We can go back-"

"No! It's too late, Jack!" I screamed. We stared in silence again. I hadn't called him by his real first name since I left. I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath. "It's too late. If I forgive you for everything you've done to me, I'll never be able to forgive myself. I'm sorry, but that's all there is to it. We can't go back."

"Yes we could," he persisted. He stepped closer to me. "We could." I shook my head slowly. "You wanna know the other person I said I was sorry to? Hm? Spencer. I told Spencer I was sorry for everything. That I haven't been there. That even if I had been there I would still be a shitty father. That I was sorry for making things so bad with his mom. That I fucked up his life. You, and Spencer, are the only people I've _ever _care about enough to admit I was wrong to them. And I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything, but if I could take it all away I would because I regret it. I swear to you that I will never hurt you again."

"Why are you doing this to me," I whispered as tears lightly slipped down my face.

"I already told you," he said quietly back to me. He stepped even closer and wiped away my tears as he cupped my face.

"Jack," I said just as quietly.

"I won't hurt you. I promise."

I looked up at him. Something in his face told me he meant everything he had said. Somewhere in him was the man I truly loved more than anyone else. As cheesy as it sounds, he was my soul mate. It was like I could see right past the smeared paint all over his face, the scars imbedded into his flesh. I knew I had no other choice. "God, I still love you," I said. Slowly, he closed the space between us, bringing his lips to mine. I have never felt so much emotion in a kiss before. Our lips fit together like they were made for each other. I slid my arms underneath Jack's arms to grip his shoulders. His hands pressed against my back, bringing me closer to him. I moaned slightly into his mouth. A shiver ran down my spine as he moaned into my mouth in return. One of Jack's hands moved under my cami and slid up my back to unhook my bra. His other hand grabbed both the strap of my cami and my bra and pulled them slowly down my shoulder. I pulled my lips away from his so that I could help him take off my shirt and bra. Being a man, Jack's eyes were glued to my bare chest. My heart skipped a beat when he tore his eyes away from my breasts and locked eyes with me again. He forcefully kissed me and grabbed my waist, then picked me up. I wrapped me legs around his waist and moaned as we grinded together. Jack took the few steps to the bed and let go of me with one hand so that he could crawl onto the bed. He lay me down underneath him. I broke the kiss again and started to unbutton his shirt. He held himself up, hovering above me. I knew he was staring at me, but I liked having his eyes on me. Our movements weren't rushed. We wanted this to last.

I finished unbuttoning Jack's shirt. My hands moved to his belt and started to unbuckle it. Jack shifted onto his forearms, then I felt his calloused hand cup one of my breasts. His thumb pressed into my nipple and began to move in circles. My hands paused for a moment on his belt as I closed my eyes and sighed at his touch. Jack chuckled, then moved his mouth to take my other breast into his mouth. I whimpered, unable to hold myself back at the incredible feeling of Jacks tongue swirling over my skin. My back arched and I fumbled with his belt, now desperate to get it off. I finally got Jack's belt and pants undone and shoved them down as far as I could in my current position. Jack bit my neck, making me cry out. He pulled away from me slightly, enough to allow me to sit up and push his shirt off his shoulders. He threw it to the floor. Now it was my eyes glued to his chest. Jack still had a _nice_ body, even all these years later. The next thing I knew, Jack had somehow gotten out of his pants and was already taking mine off as well.

When both of us were totally naked, I grabbed Jack's shoulders hard and pushed him onto his back on the mattress, straddling him. He gripped my hips tightly, as I ran my tongue up the length of his neck. I bit his earlobe, probably harder than the average person would like, but this was the Joker and he liked it rough. Sure enough, he moaned and bucked his rock hard erection against my womanhood. I smiled, enjoying the feeling of dominance and dug my nails into his chest. This earned me an animalistic growl that made heat pool between my legs.

Before I knew what was happening, Jack flipped us back over so that he was on top of me. He roughly kissed me, groaning into my mouth. There wasn't a centimeter of space between us as Jack positioned himself at my entrance. He pulled his lips away from mine and gazed down into my eyes.

"You ready doll face?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"Oh I'm ready," I assured him, breathing just as heavily as him. Jack groaned as he thrust into me. "Oh, Jack," I sighed. He pulled almost all the way out, then shoved himself back in. My legs bent at the knees, better positioning myself to buck my hips up in time with Jack's thrusts. Jack panted and I closed my eyes, lost in pleasure.

Jack moved his face into the space between my neck and shoulder. "Em," he moaned. He placed open-mouthed kissed onto my neck as he thrust his hips faster and harder into mine. I raked my nails down his back, the volume of my moans increasing as I felt my inner walls begin to tighten around Jack.

"Jack!" I cried out, clinging to Jack's body as I came hard. A few thrusts later, Jack moaning and was spilling his warm liquid inside of me. We stayed tangled together, and strangely enough, I had never felt safer than I was right then, laying in the arms of the Joker.

_Whew! Again, sorry that was so long, but I really wanted their fight to express how much they had been holding back from each other. So Marissa is in love with Jack again, yay! And Jack said "I love you" which he very rarely actually says. Please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter, it took a long time to write and I'm hoping my work paid off. _


	24. Chapter 24

_Hey guys! This is just a happy chapter about Marissa, Jack and Spencer settling into their new life now that Jack and Marissa are togeter again. Enjoy!_

I lay on my stomach under the sheet. I was alone in the bed. The Jack had gone into the bathroom a few minutes ago. I giggled to myself and got that tingly happy feeling all over, like when you want to do a happy dance or something. I didn't care about the fact that I had promised myself I would never do this. I loved Jack. And somewhere inside the Joker, was Jack. I couldn't ignore the fact that this would hugely affect Spencer. My son was the most important thing. Of course I was scared and worried about what the outcome of my actions would be, but I didn't need to think about that right now because I knew I wouldn't be leaving any time soon. It wasn't like he would let me go now. All I cared about was being with Jack.

Just then the bathroom door opened. Any doubts I had were instantly gone. Jack crawled back into bed with me and pulled me into his arms. I reached up and touched his face-his clean, make up free face. It had been way too long since I'd seen his face.

"Hi," I said softly, smiling.

"Hi," Jack replied. I traced my finger along his scars.

"You took the paint off," I said happily. He smiled.

"Yes."

"You're so handsome!" I said. Jack raised an eyebrow. "And sexy!" I added quickly. Now he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say sugar," he said as he tightened his hold on me. "Fuck, I love you"

"I love you too," I said while he combed his fingers through my hair.

"You know, you're really weird," Jack stated bluntly.

"Says the man who wears make-up," I scoffed.

"Hey now," he grumbled as he gave me a gentle shake.

"Well what did you expect me to say?" I laughed. He sighed before he spoke.

"I just mean that after everything I've put you through, all the pain and shit, you somehow still came back to me. So either you're insane, or I'm just that awesome," Jack explained.

"Watch it or I just might regret this buddy," I teased. Jack laughed and kissed my forehead.

"I'm just messin' doll, I know I don't deserve you," he said…and I think he genuinely meant it.

"I'm not gonna lie, you've hurt me so much I don't think I can ever fully recover. But that just means I've gotta stick around so you can make up for it," I said.

"Fair enough," he agreed.

I looked up into his eyes, his perfect, distinct eyes.

"I really am going to try to make this up to you Em. I'm not saying I can change who I am and what I do, but I swear to God I'll never hurt you again," Jack said.

"I trust you. And believe me when I say that I will not stick around peacefully if you hurt me, or especially Spencer. But I'm not asking you to change who you are. I love _you_. The strange things and all," I said.

"Strange is what you and I aim for," Jack said as he leaned down to kiss me on the lips. Kissing Jack like that, wrapped in his arms, I didn't think that I could ever be more in love. This was as good as it could possibly get.

* * *

**One Month Later**

The sun shone down on my upturned face. I had missed the sun so much. I didn't realize that I hand't been outside in well over a month. It was March, so it was still cold out, but I didn't mind much. We were on the roof of the warehouse. Spencer was on the other side of the roof playing some action figure battle with Jack.

Jack. He had been perfect over the last month. Everything was even better than it had been before. It was like we were a real family now. We never really fought seriously and Jack and I were just both so similar in our weird personalities that I felt empty when he wasn't with me. I had gotten to hang out with some of his henchmen that I had been friends with before, now that I was finally allowed out of our bedroom. I couldn't leave, obviously, that's why Spencer and I were on the roof to be outside. But that's just the way things were, and if it meant that I got to be with Jack and not have to worry about someone killing Spencer all the time, then it was enough.

Jack's appearance changed too. He was still the Joker, but it was like he was trying to keep that part of his life a lesser part of me and Spencer's. Like today, he was make-up-less again. He wasn't wearing his usual Joker get up either, but rather just jeans and a black shirt. I mean, the scars were still prominent on his face, but I actually loved his scars. I thought they were sexy.

"Mama! Mamacita! What are you doing? Get your pretty self over here and be sociable!" Jack hollered to me from across the roof. I turned and smiled, making my way over to the boys. I got down on my stomach, mirroring the position they were both in.

"Who's winning?" I asked.

"I am!" Spencer yelled. I shivered as a cold wind blew.

"I'm going to go inside baby, I'm freezing. Do you want to come with me or stay here?" I asked Spencer.

"You can go Mommy. I'm gonna stay here with Daddy," Spencer replied. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. That was unexpected. I averted my eyes to Jack to see his reaction. He let out the breath he had been holding in a short laugh.

_Okay, am I happy or worried?_ I asked myself. But then I looked at Jack again, his smile more genuine than I had ever seen it, the way he looked at Spencer like he was just the best thing ever. And I smiled. I couldn't help it. Jack was Spencer's father, so I should be happy that they got along so well.

"Okay, you know where I'll be," I said and started to walk back inside. Jack caught my eyes before I made it through the door. He took a deep breath before he looked away, continuing to play with Spencer.

I was in absolute bliss. My son actually had a relationship with his father. This was how it was supposed to be. No broken homes, no half-siblings or step-parents. We were finally together as a family. I loved Nick with all my heart. If he were alive, it would be very hard to choose between him and Jack. But Nick wasn't alive. Jack was Spencer's father, whom I loved, so I belonged with him.

That night I walked down the hall to Spencer's room to say goodnight to him. When I got to the door, I saw Jack was sitting against the headboard of Spencer's bed and Spencer was leaning up against his side. Both of them were dead asleep. "Awww," I said quietly. I turned out the light and silently closed the door.

I showered and got into Jack and I's bed. I realized this was one of the very few times I was going to sleep alone since Jack had kidnapped me. A though suddenly came to my mind. I leaned over and opened the night stand drawer. I dug through some papers until I came across a newspaper clipping about Batman. _Is he really still obsessing over that guy? _I moved aside make-up, other miscellaneous papers, and knives until I finally found what I was looking for. I held the engagement ring between my thumb and index finger. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I cautiously slipped the ring on my finger. "Oh God," I whispered. I clutched my chest as sobs began to rack my body. I was totally unprepared for the pain I felt when I really thought about Nick for the first time in months. I hadn't forgotten the fact that I was engaged, but I had certainly pushed it to the back of my mind. Not that I was alone and had hard proof in front of me that there was life without Jack it brought on a flood of emotion. I missed Nick. More than I thought I did. Even worse was the guilt I felt for his death. His family would never know what happened to him. Kevin and Jane would never know what happened to all three of us. I curled up and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I felt much better in the morning. I took the ring off, putting it back in the nightstand where I would try to forget it. I shook my head, telling myself that it was for the best. I was happy with Jack. Spencer was happy with Jack. I had needed to finally breakdown so that I could move on and live my life with Jack.

I went downstairs into "the kitchen." It was actually just a small room on the ground level of the warehouse that the Joker's men had filled with several collapsible tables and chairs, a mini-fridge, a microwave, and a toaster. Everything in the room had probably been stolen, but I could accept that, considering their line of work…

I made myself a bowl of cereal. Just then Spencer and Jack came tearing into the room. They ran straight through the room until they collided with the wall on the far side of the room.

"I won!" Spencer yelled in a singsong voice.

"That's right buddy, you kicked my as-" Is shot him a dirty look. "Butt! You totally kicked my butt kiddo!" Jack said, panting. I smiled in approval. "Morning, sugar," Jack said as he kissed my forehead.

"Good morning!" I said cheerfully. Jack got cereal for himself and Spencer.

"You miss me last night Beautiful?" Jack asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Actually, I quite liked having the bed all to myself. God, I never realized how much _room_ you took up!" I joked.

"Fine, if you don't like sleeping with me you can just sleep on the roof by yourself," Jack said, flicking a Coco Puff at me.

"Ugh!" I scoffed as I threw a handful of Cheerios in his face. He closed his eyes and gave a short laugh. When he opened his eyes he shook his head and looked at me with a playful gleam in his eye.

"Oh, you really shouldn't have done that dollface," he said. He then picked up his cereal bowl and dumped it over my head. I gasped in shock that he would actually do that-and the milk was freezing as it poured down over my body. No one said anything. I stared at Jack, he stared at me with a grin on his face, and Spencer watched both of us, waiting to see what would happen next. I smiled, glanced down at the table and nonchalantly reached for my own cereal bowl. Then I thrust the bowl in Jack's direction so it projectiled into the whole front of his body.

"Oh it's on," Jack said. Then war broke out. Al three of us started digging handfuls of cereal out of the boxes and chucking it at each other. It wasn't long before we moved on to the fridge and cupboards, throwing all the food in the kitchen at each other. Spencer had just sprayed a bottle of whipped cream at me while I got him with the squeeze cheese. But our attacks on each other were quickly forgotten when we saw Jack menacingly shaking a huge bottle of orange soda.

"NO!" we yelled in unison, but it was too late. He unscrewed the top and a shower of orange liquid rained down on us. Spencer and I joined forces, unleashing any messy food we could on Jack.

Fifteen minutes later, after the kitchen had been emptied of all its food, the three of us sat winded on the kitchen floor.

"That was fun," Spencer said.

"Yes sir," I agreed.

"Mom?"

"Yeah Spencer?"

"What are we going to eat?" This question was followed by silence.

"We could go out and get something," Jack spoke up.

"Jack, won't you, ya know, get arrested? Or killed?" I asked.

"Not without my paint. No one here would recognize me," he assured me.

"Can we Mommy? Pleeeaassseeee!" Spencer begged.

Heck yes!" I said, thrilled at the idea of getting the Hell out of this place for awhile. So we went a few blocks down the street (a secluded street) to a Dunkin Donuts shop, picked up some food and came back. No one stopped us. No one even questioned us. They were wary of Jack's scars, but they treated him like you would any person with some kind of strange physical appearance. To this day, that was one of the best days of my life.

_Aww, they are all happy...for now. Marissa realized that she misses her friends and feels guilty about Nick's death, but she is truly in love with the Joker. If he seems out of character, don't worry, I did that on purpose. I wanted to show how he is much calmer now that he got what he wanted (Marissa) and that he is legitimately trying to be better for her. Just so you guys know, there are only five chapters left after this! Please review!_


	25. Chapter 25

_Here's another chapter guys! Trouble in paradise in this one. _

Spencer and I were playing on the floor in the kitchen. Jack and the gang had left the night before to start working on some new plan about Batman. Jack had been forced to abandon Gotham by Batman right after I ran away. That's when he started looking for me. Anyway, now he was all into getting back into the heart of Gotham and going after Batman again. I wasn't too happy about that. We were currently a few miles from the city and going back to the center of it would mean that Jack would be putting himself right back in the spotlight with cops coming after us. And now we had Spencer. I did not want him to be a part of any mob stuff. I would use my last dying breath to keep my son from becoming involved with his father's line of work.

Suddenly there was a lot of banging and laughing a few rooms away from us. "Spence," I mumbled and pulled him up off the floor with me. I firmly held his shoulders, ready to push him behind me to protect him if the Joker's gang got too rowdy. The Joker's henchmen bounded into the room, making tons of noise and carrying big guns. Spencer's eyes widened at the sight. Jack strode in with the last of the goons and they all cheered and yelled for him. He dramatically took a bow.

"Well, gentle-_men,_ looks like we've got the bat back," he said triumphantly. This made all the guys cheer again excitedly. "Start packing the trucks up, we're leaving for Gotham tomorrow night." The group hurried out of the room howling all the way. Jack came over to me.

"Hey gorgeous," he said un a deep, husky voice. He kissed me on the lips for a few seconds before he pulled away.

"Hi," I said smiling, a little dazed now.

"Mommy, can I have a big gun like that?" Spencer asked. That snapped me back.

"No! Spencer why would you want a gun? Guns are bad! You know that!" I scolded.

"But all those guys have guns! And Dad gets to have knives!" Spencer argued.

"Spencer, I said no. Weapons are not toys."

"That's right buddy. Weapons are serious. I'll give you one when you're older," Jack said to my horror. Spencer sighed angrily and started leaving the room.

"Fine! I'll wait 'til I'm older!" he said overdramatically. I stared at Jack with my mouth open. He looked back at me confused.

"What?" he asked.

"I'll give you one when you're older? What the Hell Jack! Spencer is never going to have a gun!" I said, furious.

"I wasn't gonna give him a gun! I was gonna give him a knife," Jack said as if that made everything better.

"What's the difference? I do not want my son to think hurting people is okay."

"Well he's gonna have to learn to defend himself. You did. How else would you have taken out my man the night I brought you back? That was hot by the way."

"Thanks," I giggled. "Wait no! You are not going to distract me like that! Jack I don't want out song to become…us."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack asked.

"It means I don't want Spencer to learn how to shoot a gun, or slit someone's throat, or bead someone to a bloody pulp. You and I know how to do those things. Look at us. Are we normal people?"

"Babe, have you forgotten who you're talking to? Strange is what we aim for."

"I know, and being strange is fine. It's being a killer that I have a problem with."

"You know, fuck you Em. This is my life and you wanted to be a part of it. Spencer is my son and I get to have a say in his life." With that he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

That night I sat on our bed with my knees curled to my chest. I had been thinking all day about the argument this morning. I knew what I had to ask Jack. He came into the room late that night.

"Jack," I said softly.

"What?" he asked sharply. Oh great, he's still mad.

"Can we not fight?" I asked. He sighed heavily.

"Yeah, I guess so," he said as he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge next to me.

"I love you Jack," I whispered, not meeting his eyes. He gently squeezed my arm.

"What's wrong babe?" he asked.

"Jack I haven't gone anywhere by myself in three months."

"That's for your own protection."

"People go out by themselves every day."

"You're not people. You're the Joker's girlfriend." He sighed again. "I would go crazy if you didn't come back." I swung my legs over the side of the bed and scooted closer to him.

"I would come back. You know I would always come back." He pulled my legs across his lap and put his hands on my waist. His forehead leaned against mine and his eyes were closed. I could tell he was really struggling with this.

"I just can't Em. I can't let you go," he finally said.

"What about Spencer?" I asked quietly. Here we go.

"What _about_ Spencer?" he repeated.

"Spencer needs to go back to school. He's missed a lot already," I said cautiously.

"You want Spencer to go out by himself?"

I paused. "No."

"Then how do you want him to get there?"

I knew he already knew the answer to that.

"I have to go with him," I whispered.

"And we're back to square one." There was a long pause as I lay my head on Jack's shoulder.

"We can't stay here like this forever."

"You have to," Jack said quietly. "For now. Spencer can go out when he's older and can take care of himself."

"Do you trust him more than me?" I asked, not in an accusing tone, just a curious one.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he's my son. He acts just like me. He _looks_ like me. He asked for a God damn gun this morning. If I ask him to stay, he will."

"And if you _ask_ me to stay?"

"I think eventually you'd run like Hell."

I didn't have a response for that. Eventually, I had to get out of here or I would lose my mind. I just wanted Jack to let me go, so I could be free and still be with him.

"Jack, I don't want Spencer to live this life."

"What if he wants to?"

"That's a good question."

_Marissa is itching for freedom again. She still loves Jack more than anything, but she is worried about Spencer becoming a killer. What to do, what to do? Only four more chapters!_


	26. Chapter 26

The van sped down the back streets of Gotham. The motion of a quick turn woke me up. I found myself leaning against Jack's shoulder. My arm was around Spencer, who was asleep at my side. I lifted my head to see where we were.

"Hey," Jack murmured. He gently kissed my forehead. "We're almost there."

"I nodded and leaned back into him. He tilted my head up and kissed me. It was almost as if he knew. I felt tears threatening to spill over my eyelids, but I held them back. Our lips parted, but our heads stayed close together, foreheads touching. Both of our eyes were closed and I felt almost certain that he knew what I was going to do and was trying to say goodbye before things got out of hand.

The van turned down the darkest alley I have ever seen and slowed next to a huge abandoned warehouse. _Showtime._ I thought to myself. I immediately opened my eyes and looked out the windows, assessing where we were. The warehouse wall suddenly opened and I realized that it was a giant garage door. _That will come in handy._ The van pulled into the building, followed by another three vans that were filled with the rest of our crew. The garage was a big, spacious room full of tables covered in tools. Machines were up against several walls and there were shelves lined with paint cans. Piles of neatly cut wood were leaning against the walls. It looked like a creepy version of Lowes.

We got out of the van, me carrying a sleepy Spencer. Jack led me and all but two of the henchmen to a metal staircase that ran against the back wall. At the top was a hallway that branched off to several rooms.

"Alright gang, everybody get some rest. Tomorrow morning we're crashing that mobster meeting," Jack told the henchmen. He reached out for Spencer. I handed him over, knowing that he wanted a room to ourselves. "There's a room with a bed. I'm gonna put Spencer in that one."

"Okay," I said, acting more exhausted than I actually was. I watched Jack carry Spencer down the hall. The door next to me was open, so I assumed that this was the one Jack and I would share. I did a slight back bend so I could see exactly which room Jack put Spencer in. As soon as he walked into a room, I flew back up and into our room. It looked like it had been an office at one time. I looked around to see if it had anything I could use. There was a desk in the middle of the room. I ran to it. Throwing open drawers, I felt my heart pounding. I found what I was looking for. I slipped the paper clip into my pocket. I heard Jack walking down the hall and literally threw myself across the room to land on the couch, pretending to be asleep.

Jack walked in and climbed on top of me on the couch. "Are you tired baby?" he asked.

"Mh-hm," I nodded. Jack ran his hands up and down my sides.

"How tired?" he asked plainly.

"Not that tired," I replied, grinning. So I let Jack have his way with me, not that I minded in the least, but it was making me hate my decision even more. I really, really loved this man. Fifteen minutes later I was curled up into him, limbs tangled. This was going to be harder than I thought. I traced his scars with my fingers while he studied my face.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I know. I love you too," Jack said back. I could feel his voice ruble in his chest. It made me remember just how human he actually was. I hated doing this to him. But I had to. Even if it made Jack and I unhappy, I had to do what would make Spencer safe. I would never live with myself if I let Spencer grow up to be a serial killer like his father. The only comfort I could find was that Jack just said he knew I loved him. As long as I knew he knew that, I would be able to leave.

I started to pretend to fall asleep. I could tell that Jack was awake though. Then he shook me roughly out of nowhere. _I guess he really is on to my plan. _I jerked "awake." I was very impressed with my acting abilities at this point.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feigning panic. Jack, who I assumed bought it, stroked my back.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep," he mumbled. I knew he was tired. He hadn't slept much this week. I waited a good long while before I tried anything. Luckily, my right leg wasn't being held down by anything, so I gently lifted it off of Jack's leg. Then I ever so slowly slipped my left leg out from between his. He didn't move. I silently thanked God. I held my breath as I lifted Jack's arm off my waist and stood up. I placed his arm back in the same place it had been. Then he moaned. _Oh God, oh God, oh God!_ I screamed in my head. He shifted onto his back and relaxed again. I sighed in relief.

I silently walked to my clothes (which I had thrown in the general direction of the door to save time) and dug the paper clip out of my jeans. Jack still locked me and Spencer's door at night, probably because he knew I would try this eventually. But I had been practicing on our old lock with coat-hangers. I quickly picked the lock. I twisted the handle slowly, then opened the door a crack quickly, knowing that it wouldn't squeak that way. I tiptoed back to grab my clothes. I couldn't help stopping to take what I hoped would e the last time I ever saw Jack. Then I left the room, closing the door gently behind me.

Yes, I had done all of that totally naked, but I didn't want to make more noise than I had to. I dressed quickly in the hallway before heading to Spencer's room. The paper clip worked like a charm yet again. I shook Spencer awake.

"Mommy?" Spencer mumbled.

"Shh, be very quiet baby. We're leaving," I whispered.

"Again? But we just got here," he asked me sleepily.

"I know sweetie, it's just you and me." I was going to be totally honest with him that we were running away.

"Daddy's not coming with us?" Spencer's lip trembled.

"No. I'm sorry baby, but we have to get away. Now," I said as I picked him up out of the bed. He was still dressed in his clothes from today.

"But I want Daddy," he cried. I pushed Spencer's light brown hair out of his face. He looked just like Jack. He even had those green eyes so dark they were almost black.

"Spencer, Daddy does bad things. Do you remember when he broke into our apartment?" Spencer nodded. "He hurt Mommy. Very badly. Then he took us away and we didn't want to go. He hut Nick. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah," he said crying.

"So we have to leave, because he's going to keep hurting us. And I can't let him do that to you baby," I prayed that this would convince Spencer to come quietly with me because Jack might wake up.

"Doesn't he love us anymore?" Spencer asked, looking up at me hopefully. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. One lone tear fell before I stopped it, shaking my head.

"No Spencer. No, he doesn't love us anymore," I forced out in a steady voice. I had to lie to save my son. Spencer frowned through his tears.

"Then let's go Mommy," he said angrily. I kissed the top of his head quickly before closing his door and starting down the hallway. _Commence part two._ I thought.

I slowed at the top of the stairs. Two men were sitting on one of the tables talking. They were armed. I went back into the hallway and put Spencer on my back so that I could move easier. I told him not to make a sound. I took those stairs so slowly it felt like forever. When I reached the bottom undetected I rushed behind one of the shelves of paint cans. I set Spencer down and put a finger to my lips to reiterate that silence was a must. I motioned for him to stay put, then crouched and crept over to where several planks of wood were leaning against the nearest wall. I silently picked it up. It was a little shorter than me, but it wasn't heavy. I started to walk up behind the two guards. Luck was on my side as they were both facing away from me. I got a firm grip on the center of the plank of wood.

_And…go!_ I used all of my strength to swing the plank first to hit the guy on the left, then quickly switched gears to bring the other half of the board flying into the guy on the right-kind of like a seesaw. They both fell to the floor unconscious.

"Holy shit, who knew I could do that," I actually said out loud. "Spence!" I whispered loudly for him. He came running to me. I took his hand. A big red button was on the wall next to the garage door. I knew the sound of the door opening would be loud. "Get ready to run Spencer," I whispered. He nodded and gripped my hand tighter. I slammed my hand down on the button. To my horror, the loudest and longest beep I have ever heard screamed out, letting everyone in the building know the garage door was opening. "Shit!" I grumbled.

The door started to slide upwards. Just as I was about to push Spencer through the small space, one of the now formerly unconscious guards got me into a choke hold.

"Hey! That's my mommy!" Spencer yelled and kicked the guy in the shin.

"Get off me you brat!" the dude roared as he used one hand to push Spencer away. I took the opportunity to slip out of his grasp and kick him in the nuts. While he doubled over in pain, I pulled Spencer off the floor. Just then, the garage door started to go back down. I whirled around. Henchmen were running down the stairs. At the top of the stairs was Jack.

"Go! Go!" I yelled. The garage door was almost closed. Spencer ducked under it. That's when they started firing at me. I threw myself on the floor.

"No, no, no! You kill her and I'll kill you!" I heard Jack yell. I slithered under the door just before it closed. I scrambled off the wet ground. It was sprinkling rain.

"Way to go, Spence!" I encouraged him. I took his hand and we ran off into the black streets of Gotham.

_Marissa is running away again. And again, it is because she is trying to to what is best for her son, even though she wants to be with the Joker. But this time, he actually saw her leaving, so she won't be able to get very far, will she? Will the Joker get her to stay with him, or will Marissa escape the Joker for good? Only three more chapters to go!_


	27. Chapter 27

_Hey guys! Next chapter! Woo hoo! Quick recap since it's been a while since I've updated: Marissa decided that she was going to leave the Joker again, despite the fact that she loves him because she doesn't want Spencer to grow up to be violent like his father. Marissa and Spencer successfully got away, but now they are being chased by the Joker and his men and they have to outrun them. Here we go!_

"Okay. All we have to do is find a payphone far enough away that they won't catch up to us while we call the police," I said out loud and out of breath. Spencer and I were jogging. We had no choice but to stop running. I was exhausted from running eight blocks while carrying him. I knew it would be another ten blocks to reach the center of Gotham, which was also the most heavily populated part of the city. We stayed on a straight path the whole time. I know they usually tell you to zig-zag so that you leave a more confusing trail, but I just wanted to get the hell away from Jack.

Finally, we were within five blocks of the center of Gotham when we saw a phone booth.

"Come on Spencer, almost there," I told him as I jogged alongside him. We reached the phone and some dude was using it. I stepped up behind him and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him out of the booth. "Sorry man, gotta call the police," I said quickly. The guy turned around to glare at us. I almost had a heart attack when I saw his face.

"Nick," I said so quietly I don't know if he heard me. He dropped the phone so it was hanging by the cord. I felt Spencer cling to my hand with both of his, but I couldn't take my eyes off Nick. How was it possible that I happened to run into him here? He was supposed to be dead.

"Marissa?" he asked incredulously. I felt myself gasp out a short smile. I nodded.

"Oh my God," Nick said. He stepped out of the booth and threw his arms around me. I took my free hand and slowly threaded it through his dark brown hair.

"How are you alive? I heard the gunshot," I asked, horribly confused and scared and happy and panicking and a million other different emotions flooding through me.

"I shot the guy that was supposed to kill me," Nick said, still hugging me tightly. "I've been looking for you for months. That's why I'm in Gotham." He pulled away. I put my hand on his cheek, still not fully believing that it was really him.

"Nick," I said again. He smiled and pulled me up to kiss him. I felt like Bella from Twilight. I was hopelessly in love with two men. Holy shit, the other man was Jack and he was coming after me right now.

Nick seemed to have realized the same thing at exactly the same time I did. We ripped out lips apart. "Oh my God he's coming after us!" I yelled Just as Nick yelled "He didn't let you go did he?" We looked down the street to see three black vans tearing down the empty road. Without a word, Nick scooped up Spencer and we sprinted faster than any of us have ever run before. The vans quickly gained on us. I looked behind to see Jack driving the first van. He looked _pissed._

I grabbed Nick's arm and pulled him down an alley. Of course it was a dead end. It wasn't hopeless though. There was a dumpster underneath a fire escape. I ran for it and climbed up on it. Nick handed me Spencer before climbing up himself. I had just gotten on the ladder after Spencer when the van flew down the alley. Once we were on the landing I picked Spencer up with one arm and started running up the stairs, Nick right on my heels.

It was raining hard now and the metal was slippery. I prayed that no one fell but Jack and his men. I could hear the banging of their footsteps on the fire escape as they chased us up to the roofs.

"Em, hurry!" Nick cried behind me. I picked up the pace, which I didn't think was possible, and didn't dare look down as we ran around and around and around the many flights of stairs. Then I slipped. I stepped onto one of the landings and my feet slid backwards. Spencer screamed and I thought 'Way to go Marissa, now they'll catch you and kill you all!' But at the last second, Nick grabbed a fistful of my jacket, just before Spencer and I hit the ground. Our faces were inches from the metal for only a second, then Nick yanked me back up.

"Holy shit," I panted as we continued our sprint to the roof. At last my hand closed around the curve of the top of the railing. I scrambled over the ledge of the roof. My arms ached from carrying Spencer up the side of a building, but I wasn't about to put him down. The clanging of heavy feet on metal screamed behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Nick was climbing onto the roof too. "Now what!" I screamed, realizing that we were now stuck on top of a freaking roof. Nick pointed over my shoulder.

"Door!" he yelled over the rain and thunder. He quickly took Spencer from me, knowing that we would move faster that way, and we sprinted towards the door that would lead into the building we had just climbed. I grabbed the doorknob and ripped it open.

"Daddy's home," the Joker growled. I stared wide-eyed for a split second in shock, before I worthlessly went to slam the door again only to have the Joker easily stop it with his hand. Nick and I backed up slowly. I grabbed onto his arm while he hung on to Spencer. There was nowhere to go. We were surrounded.

"No," I said, my voice rising. "Just leave me _alone!_"

"I can't do that sweetheart," the Joker said as he advanced on us. "Now be a good girl and come home with me."

"No!" I screamed. Just then the henchmen climbed onto the roof. I grabbed the front of Nick's jacket with both hands as he put an arm around my back. I looked up at his rain soaked face. "I can't lose you again Nick, I can't do it," I said desperately.

"You're not gonna lose me again, okay, we'll find a way out of this," he said. Then he whispered. We'll find a way out of this." I nodded even though I knew there was little hope that that was true.

"Alright boys, put 'em in the van," the Joker said triumphantly. I clung harder to Nick while we both looked around frantically, trying to find some way out. Then an idea came to me. I stopped moving and realized that the only thing that the Joker was afraid of losing was me. I reached up and stroked Spencer's hair once.

"I love you sweetie," I whispered. I looked intensely at Nick. He stared back at me, thinking this was the end. Just as the Joker's goons were about to grab us, I pulled my arm back and socked one of them in the face. Taken by surprise, probably because he wasn't expecting a fight, he stumbled and I ripped his gun out of his hand. There were eight of the Joker's men and obviously I knew that I couldn't fight all of them. They all pointed their guns at me. I shoved the barrel of my gun under my jaw.

"No!" the Joker screamed. He started towards me on instinct, but froze mid-step when he realized that he couldn't do anything.

"Yes!" I said in a voice so full of anger and hurt that I didn't recognize it. "Let them go." The Joker looked over at Nick, still holding Spencer in the pouring rain. When he didn't respond right away, I pushed the gun further into my neck.

"Em, don't!" the Joker begged. The desperation in his voice was like nothing I've ever heard. "I'll let them go! I'll let them go," he said quickly.

"Marissa, I am not leaving you here," Nick yelled above the thunder.

"You have to," I said. "Please Nick, just do it for Spencer." We stared at each other through the rain for what felt like an eternity, but must have been seconds. Finally, he nodded.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I said barely above a whisper. Nick slowly started moving towards the door. The Joker still hadn't moved from where he had frozen. Some of the henchmen pointed their guns at Nick and some of them stayed on me, not knowing who they should be prepared to shoot. Spencer started crying for me, but I knew I couldn't go with them. I had to sacrifice myself for my son. His cries faded as Nick carried him through the door.

"Em, give me the gun," the Joker said gently. I shook my head slowly.

"Huh-uh. Make them leave," I said gesturing to his men. I really didn't like my odds when eight guys were now pointing guns at me. The Joker hesitated. "I swear to God Jack, I am not afraid of dying!"

"Okay, okay! Go wait in the van!" he yelled. Finally we were alone.

"Baby, what are you doing?" the Joker asked exasperated.

"I can't be with you. You hurt me, and you'll hurt my son, that's a risk I can't take," I said, slightly moving to the right. The Joker shifted to his right, and we started slowly circling each other.

"I'm never going to hurt you afain, you know that," the Joker said. He sounded angrier now.

"No I don't. Even if you never had hurt me, I can't be locked up in a warehouse all day. Neither can Spencer. That isn't any kind of life, nobody can live that way Jack!" I argued.

"Marissa, put the Goddamn gun down. Now."

"You can't tell me what to do anymore. I am _sick _of being scared all the time, I am sick of being scared of you!"

"What part of 'you are _mine_' don't you understand? You do not belong to Nick or Spencer. _Me._ You are mine and you always will be," the Joker said, his voice raising. We were still circling each other when he lunged at me. Right as I pulled the trigger, he jerked my arm upward. I clung to the gun with my frozen fingers while the Joker held me up against him and tried to rip the gun from me.

"No!" I shrieked as he overpowered me for what seemed like the hundredth time in my life. Both of us had one hand on the gun. I slipped on the wet roof and fell to the floor, taking Jack with me. The Joker wrapped his other hand around my throat and dragged me onto my knees while I struggled to get free. But I knew I couldn't beat him in a fight. "Jack, please just stop," I sobbed, crying because I really had no idea what I was going to do at this point. Here was Jack, hurting me again, yet I still didn't even know what I really _wanted._ Jack's hand let go of my neck and moved to wrap around my waist. Our faces were close and as I looked up into his face, paint running from the rain, I saw Jack look truly scared for the first time.

"Em," he said helplessly. "What do you want?"

"I don't know, I don't know," I said crying. "I love Nick, but I love you too and I know that I have to do what's best for Spencer but I want you so much-" I rambled before Jack cut me off.

"Sh sh sh, just put the gun down, okay, you're not going to kill yourself," Jack said.

"Just let me do it, it's the easiest way," I begged.

"I can't let you do that dollface," he gently contradicted.

"Jack, what am I supposed to do?" I asked.

"Let go baby," he murmured, gently pulling on the gun still in my hand.

"Jack," I lamented. He stared down at me, rain dripping from his hair. I loosened my grip on the gun and Jack tugged it out of my hand, letting it drop to the roof. He crushed his lips to mine, pulling me up against his body. His now free hand tangled in my sopping wet hair. I clung to him as we knelt on the roof, rain and thunder and lightning crashing around us, our lips passionately taking out our fear and confusion. My left hand slowly slid down his side. To lost in the kiss, Jack didn't realized I silently picked up the gun again. I slowly pulled my lips away and pressed my forehead to his, my eyes closed.

"I love you so much Jack," I said in a voice choked with pain. His fingers dug into me as he held onto me tighter than he ever had before.

"I love you too," he said. In one swift movement, I opened my eyes and saw my love as I shot him in the chest. The bang of the gun pounded through my body. Jack's grip on me got even tighter for a split second before it started to loosen. He started to fall away from me, but caught himself. Jack stared me right in the face and laughed his eerie Joker laugh. "You are just like me," he said. Then he fell to the roof, lying in a pool of rain, blood beginning to trickle down from his body. I remained on my knees next to Jack, letting the gun fall back to the ground. My hands covered my face as I screamed in agony.

_Bet you didn't see **that **coming! Just to clarify a few things: 1) Nick is alive. The gunshot Marissa heard was the sound of Nick killing the Joker's henchman. I never had any intention of keeping Nick dead. 2) Nick is in Gotham because everybody knows that is where the Joker hangs out, so he is staying there while the police are looking for Marissa and Spencer. 3) Marissa **never **had any intention of shooting Jack. That came to her as a sort of last resort to make sure that she kept Spencer safe. And obviously she is upset about it because I left her sobbing beside him. Whew! I already have the last two chapters written and I will upload them soon! Thanks for reading guys!_


	28. Chapter 28

_Here is the second-to-last chapter! I think most of you will be pleased. :)_

The rain seemed to be much quieter now. I got up off my knees. I had killed Jack less than a minute ago and I knew that I wouldn't have much time before his henchmen came back to see who shot who. I turned from Jack's motionless body and ran to the door we had tried to escape through before. As I quickly made my way through the building, I realized I was in a run-down apartment building. I could hear people having their lives on the other side of all the doors, babies crying, televisions, the clanging of dishes being washed. But no one seemed to have heard my life happening up on the roof. I hastily wiped the tears from y face before I remembered it was useless. I was already soaked all over.

When I got to the lobby, I asked to use the front desk's phone. This was the first person other than Jack or his men that I had talked to in over three months. I dialed 911.

"Hello?"

"Hi, um, I need…help. I was kidnapped by the Joker and I think I just escaped."

"You think?"  
"Well, he's dead now," I said. There was silence on the other line for a moment.

"Okay, I've just been told we've already sent all our units out there. They should be there any minute."

I sighed, silently thanking God that Nick and Spencer had made it to the police alive. "Thanks," I said into the phone before I hung it up without waiting for a reply. Sure enough a few minutes later when I stepped outside, the cops were pulling up to the building, sirens blaring. They got out of their cars and started to surround the apartment building, some running inside, others making their way down the alley.

"Marissa!" someone yelled. I turned my head to see Nick getting out of the back of a cop car. We walked toward each other, both of us too exhausted from being scared to run. I collapsed in his arms and just breathed.

"Are you okay?" Nick's muffled voice asked as his face nuzzled into my neck. I didn't know how to answer for a minute. Then I heard Spencer joyously screaming "Mommy!" as he was carried to me by a big African-American cop.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said, knowing that eventually I would be. Nick and I pulled apart so that I could take Spencer from the police officer. Spencer animatedly started talking about the million things that had happened that night and I had to gently shush him so that I could give the cop a chance to talk.

"Miss, you said the Joker was dead?" he asked with a concerned face.

"Yes, he's up on the roof," I said nodding slightly. The look on his face made me feel like I was going to throw up. He looked like he didn't want to say what he _had_ to say next.

"He kidnapped me and attacked me when I tried to escape. I shot him in self defense," I said, suddenly feeling like I was about to be accused of doing something wrong. The cop quickly reassured me of that.

"Oh no, it's not that. We want the Joker dead too, it's just…" he stopped talking again.

"Just what?" I asked, my voice cracking. The cop shook his head like he was confused.

"Miss, he's not up there." Now I really felt like I was going to puke.

"That's impossible, I _shot him!_" I said raising my voice. "There is no way he is alive!"

"I'm sorry Miss, but my partner just radioed me from the roof and he says there isn't a body. The vans your fiancé mentioned aren't in the alley either," he said sounding sincerely apologetic.

"So what, you thing we're making this up?" Nick intervened angrily.

"No, we believe you. We did find something on the roof," the cop said. Just then, a younger cop came sprinting out of the building. He was holding something in his hand.

"This was lyin' in a puddle of blood," he said, handing the object to the other cop. He studied it, then looked at me.

"Let me see it," I demanded. He handed me the object. I gasped. The world spun as I suddenly became dizzy with fear. I was holding a Joker playing card with a bloody smile and a bloody thumb print in the corner.

_Did you all really think I would kill the Joker! Of course I couldn't do that to you guys! Please review and let me know what you think! _


	29. Epilogue

_Holy shit guys, last chapter. Can't believe it! Hope everyone like the ending!_

Jane and I were sitting on a bench in the park. It was October in South Carolina, so it was still really warm out compared to other places. We watched our kids play a few yards away on the playground. Jane was holding her newborn son Hayden.

"So how was therapy today?" Jane asked casually. I twisted my wedding ring around on my finger.

"Fine. I had that therapist I don't like today though. You know, that freaky one that treats me like I'm going to run down the hall into the abnormal patients rooms' and start making out with them or something," I replied.

"Ugh, why don't you tell them you don't want to see him anymore? That other one, Vanessa, she's much better," Jane said.

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement. It had been almost five years since the night on the roof with the Joker. I had been going to therapy after the detectives I had to talk to found out that Spencer was the Joker's son and not Nick's. I had been diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome, which means that for some reason I developed a sort of affection for the Joker and that I didn't _really _love him. I don't believe that though. But I had to go to therapy because the police had threatened to throw me in the nuthouse if I didn't voluntarily get help. They told me that I had put Spencer in danger because of my mental disease and if I didn't go to therapy they would take him away. So needless, to say, I did not argue with them.

"Mommy! Spencer won't let me play in the sandbox with him!" a little girl's voice tattled.

"Spencer! Let your sister play in the sandbox!" I yelled to him. Spencer, now ten years old, grumbled and rolled his eyes before he complied.

"Good boy," I said.

Nick and I got married a few months after Spencer and I escaped the Joker. However, before we got married, I found out that I was pregnant again. Woops. We figured we got careless because we had missed each other so much and didn't even think about using protection. We now had a daughter together named Lily. She had turned four just a few days ago. Kevin and Jane had finally gotten married too, and they had Hayden and another son, Brandon, who was Lily's age.

While I had been horribly torn between Jack and Nick, I knew I had made the right decision. I _loved_ Nick and no one could possibly make me as happy as he could.

We hadn't seen or heard of the Joker since that night four years ago. The police had stationed guards outside our house and constantly checked in on us for months after the whole ordeal. They couldn't find one trace of the Joker or anyone he had been in contact with. Finally, we all just gave up and assumed he would leave us alone.

But the Joker never lets go of something that he wants.

Jane and I continued talking, occasionally looking over at the kids to make sure everyone was still playing nicely.

"I mean, it's been over four years, you'd think my own psychologist would stop treating me like I'm crazy," I said, turning to look at the kids. Spencer and Brandon were playing with trucks in the sand. I didn't see Lily with them. "Where's Lily?" I asked feeling my heart start to beat faster in panic. I stood up to get a better view. Jane stood up next to me and called Lily's name. Then I saw her. I immediately started walking angrily in her direction. She was talking happily to a tall man with long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. He was wearing a long, gray coat and dark sunglasses. He didn't seem to be doing anything wrong, but he was shady and talking to my little girl. That was enough of an excuse for me to go over and kick his ass.

"Lily!" I yelled, walking with even more purpose towards her. Both Lily and the man turned to look at me. She joyously said goodbye to him, then skipped just as joyously back to me. I threw my arms out in astonishment as I looked down at my approaching daughter.

"Lil, what are you doin'?" I asked sarcastically. The man's collar was pulled up so I couldn't make out any details, but he stared in my direction as he backed away, then turned and walked in the opposite direction.

"Talking to that nice man Mommy," Lily explained.

"You know better than that sweetie. We don't talk to strangers, no matter how nice they may seem," I reprimanded her. She sighed.

"Okay, Mommy." I put a hand on her shoulder and started to steer her back in the direction of the playground. I looked over my shoulder one more time to glare at the man's back. Only I wasn't looking at his back. I had caught him looking over _his_ shoulder and staring at me and Lily yet again.

"Geez, you sure picked a creepy one, Lil," I said turning back around. "What did he say to you anyway?"

"I don't know, he was just nice. He said I had very pretty eyes," Lily said proudly. I furrowed my brow.

"That's a weird thing to say to a random little girl," I said more to myself, confused.

"Don't you think I have pretty eyes Mommy?" Lily asked concerned, afraid I wouldn't agree with the creepy dude who had given her the compliment.

"Of course I do sweetie," I assured her.

"You didn't even look!" she protested. I laughed.

"Okay, let me see," I said, looking down into her eyes. Lily had the darkest eyes I had ever seen. I always assumed she had gotten a more drastic version of Nick's brown eyes. But now, looking at her eyes intently in the sunlight, I realized there was actually a green tint to them.

"Yes, you have very…pretty…eyes…" I said slowly, my voice trailing off. I looked back at where the strange man had been, but he wasn't there anymore. I turned back to Lily. I stared horrified into my daughters' eyes. It was like staring into the eyes of the Joker.

_There you have it, the final chapter of Strange Is What We Aim For! I can't believe it's over! :( Thanks to everybody who stuck through this with me and thank you all for your reviews and feedback, they really kept me motivated to keep coming on here and adding more to my story. I am definitely going to expand on this storyline. I've already started writing a prequel about how the Joker and Marissa met. I might do a sequel to this story at some point, but for now I wanted to leave it sort of open-ended. I would love to hear your thoughts on this last chapter! Thanks again for reading guys!_

_~LetoLover71_


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